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Random Elephant Jokes!

Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !


 
     
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The Best Elephant Jokes:
1) Tarzan was tired when he came home. "What have you been doing", asked Jane. "Chas... Read On »
2) Two elephants jumped off a cliff....... BOOM BOOM!... Read On »
3) It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challe... Read On »
4) An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many littl... Read On »
5) 'We're going to play elephants and circuses,' said a little boy at kindergarten,... Read On »
6) A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You kn... Read On »
7) Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an eleph... Read On »
8) Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motor... Read On »
9) Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep... Read On »
10) Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through t... Read On »
11) What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars wi... Read On »
12) How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front, two in the back and... Read On »
13) What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ? You can't make... Read On »
14) What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it's house,... Read On »
15) Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three c... Read On »
16) What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells yo... Read On »
17) Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant ?" Pupil:"You don't have to find them... Read On »
18) Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and wh... Read On »
19) What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack... Read On »
20) Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours? Because he wanted to... Read On »
21) What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and... Read On »
22) What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ? One is a weak one... Read On »
23) Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn't h... Read On »
24) Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong ?" Pupil:"I don't know, nobody... Read On »
25) What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ? Have you ever tried to... Read On »
26) What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ? An elephant w... Read On »
27) What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ? Anything you want as he... Read On »
28) What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ? Nothing, it just let out... Read On »
29) What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the nig... Read On »
30) What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ? About... Read On »
31) What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ? A get... Read On »
32) What animals were last to leave the ark ? The elephants as they had to pack thei... Read On »
33) What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a... Read On »
34) How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ic... Read On »
35) Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried El... Read On »
36) What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Aus... Read On »
37) What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It's ele-mentary, my dear Sh... Read On »
38) What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ? This is the end... Read On »
39) Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ba... Read On »
40) How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ? Try picking the... Read On »
41) What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court ? Ann... Read On »
42) Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your... Read On »
43) Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes... Read On »
44) What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is gre... Read On »
45) Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheeta... Read On »
46) What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo y... Read On »
47) Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tre... Read On »
48) How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autum... Read On »
49) What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ? An elephant with hiccup... Read On »
50) How do you know that peanuts are fattening ? Have you ever seen a skinny elephan... Read On »
51) Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ? To stop getting we... Read On »
52) What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants ? The tusk fairy... Read On »
53) What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ? Out of the way... Read On »
54) How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf..... Read On »
55) How does an elephant go up a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow... Read On »
56) Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !... Read On »
57) Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.... Read On »
58) Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !... Read On »
59) What do you do with old cannon balls ? Give them to elephants to use as marbles !... Read On »
60) What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ? The Loch Ness Elephant !... Read On »
61) Why did the elephant cross the road ? Because the chicken was having a day off !... Read On »
62) What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ? Here come the elephants... Read On »
63) What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ? A jet propelled elephant !... Read On »
64) How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ? Take all the matches out first !... Read On »
65) Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !... Read On »
66) How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ? Take away it's credit cards !... Read On »
67) What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep ? Trunkquilizers !... Read On »
68) Why is an elephant braver than a hen ? Because the elephant isn't chicken !... Read On »
69) When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ? When it's a baby elephant !... Read On »
70) Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !... Read On »
71) How does an elephant get out of a small car ? The same way that he got in !... Read On »
72) What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ? Get a tame one and annoy it !... Read On »
73) What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ? On television !... Read On »
74) What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ? An elephant's shadow !... Read On »
75) What's grey and goes round and round ? An elephant in a washing machine !... Read On »
76) What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant !... Read On »
77) Teacher: "Name six wild animals" Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"... Read On »
78) Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !... Read On »
79) What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el... Read On »
80) Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ? Elephanta Claus !... Read On »
81) Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.... Read On »
82) What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !... Read On »
83) What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater ? Warren !... Read On »
84) What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !... Read On »
85) What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ? Six weeks old !... Read On »
86) Why do elephants eat raw food ? Because they don't know how to cook !... Read On »
87) What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !... Read On »
88) What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...... Read On »
89) Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns.... Read On »
90) What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !... Read On »
91) Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.... Read On »
92) What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers ? Cinderelephant !... Read On »
93) What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !... Read On »
94) Why did the elephant eat the candle ? For light refreshment !... Read On »
95) What's blue and has big ears ? An elephant at the North Pole !... Read On »
96) Why are elephants grey ? So you can tell them from flamingos !... Read On »
97) What is worse than raining cats and dogs ? Raining elephants !... Read On »
98) Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!... Read On »
99) What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !... Read On »
100) What's grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !... Read On »
101) What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !... Read On »
102) My elephants got no trunk ? How does it smell ? Terrible !... Read On »
103) How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !... Read On »
104) What do you find in an elephants graveyard ? Elephantoms !... Read On »
105) What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !... Read On »
106) What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !... Read On »
107) What's big, grey and flies straight up ? An elecopter !... Read On »
108) How do you hire an elephant ? Stand it on four bricks !... Read On »
109) What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.... Read On »
110) What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !... Read On »
111) What's grey but turns red ? An embarrassed elephant !... Read On »
112) How to elephants talk to each other ? By 'elephone !... Read On »
113) What's grey and lights up ? An electric elephant !... Read On »
114) What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia... Read On »
115) Who lost a herd of elephants ? Big bo peep !... Read On »

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