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ELEPHANT JOKES!

elephant JOKES (random)

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY elephant JOKES:

 1 - It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to... More ››
 2 - 'We're going to play elephants and circuses,' said a little boy at kindergarten, 'Do you want to... More ››
 3 - What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ? A get wellephant !... More ››
 4 - What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers ? Cinderelephant !... More ››
 5 - What is worse than raining cats and dogs ? Raining elephants !... More ››
 6 - An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset,... More ››
 7 - Tarzan was tired when he came home. "What have you been doing", asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of e... More ››
 8 - A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really n... More ››
 9 - Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."? Bert:"W... More ››
 10 - Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive c... More ››
 11 - Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant ?" Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too b... More ››
 12 - What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ? About 3,000 miles !... More ››
 13 - Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!... More ››
 14 - Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.... More ››
 15 - Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheetahs !... More ››
 16 - How do you know that peanuts are fattening ? Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?... More ››
 17 - Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !... More ››
 18 - What's grey but turns red ? An embarrassed elephant !... More ››
 19 - How to elephants talk to each other ? By 'elephone !... More ››
 20 - Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin... More ››
 21 - Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'... More ››
 22 - What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the... More ››
 23 - How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front, two in the back and the other in t... More ››
 24 - What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ? You can't make a paper aeropla... More ››
 25 - What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant jus... More ››
 26 - Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars, a bus and... More ››
 27 - What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells you everything th... More ››
 28 - Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would... More ››
 29 - What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack your trunk and... More ››
 30 - Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours? Because he wanted to hide in the col... More ››
 31 - What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other bare... More ››
 32 - What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ? One is a weak one and the other... More ››
 33 - Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn't hold their trunk... More ››
 34 - Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong ?" Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns on... More ››
 35 - What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ? Have you ever tried to peel an elephan... More ››
 36 - What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ? An elephant with an umbrella... More ››
 37 - What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ? Anything you want as he can't hear you... More ››
 38 - What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ? Nothing, it just let out a little wine !... More ››
 39 - What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !... More ››
 40 - What animals were last to leave the ark ? The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !... More ››
 41 - What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a banana !... More ››
 42 - How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !... More ››
 43 - What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !... More ››
 44 - What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !... More ››
 45 - What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ? This is the end of me !... More ››
 46 - How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ? Try picking them up !... More ››
 47 - What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court ? Annette !... More ››
 48 - Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?... More ››
 49 - Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!... More ››
 50 - What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !... More ››
 51 - What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti.... More ››
 52 - Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !... More ››
 53 - How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !... More ››
 54 - What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ? An elephant with hiccups !... More ››
 55 - Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ? To stop getting wet !... More ››
 56 - What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants ? The tusk fairy !... More ››
 57 - What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ? Out of the way !... More ››
 58 - How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...... More ››
 59 - How does an elephant go up a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.... More ››
 60 - Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !... More ››
 61 - Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.... More ››
 62 - Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !... More ››
 63 - What do you do with old cannon balls ? Give them to elephants to use as marbles !... More ››
 64 - What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ? The Loch Ness Elephant !... More ››
 65 - Why did the elephant cross the road ? Because the chicken was having a day off !... More ››
 66 - What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ? Here come the elephants... More ››
 67 - What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ? A jet propelled elephant !... More ››
 68 - How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ? Take all the matches out first !... More ››
 69 - Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !... More ››
 70 - How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ? Take away it's credit cards !... More ››
 71 - What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep ? Trunkquilizers !... More ››
 72 - Why is an elephant braver than a hen ? Because the elephant isn't chicken !... More ››
 73 - When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ? When it's a baby elephant !... More ››
 74 - Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !... More ››
 75 - How does an elephant get out of a small car ? The same way that he got in !... More ››
 76 - What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ? Get a tame one and annoy it !... More ››
 77 - What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ? On television !... More ››
 78 - What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ? An elephant's shadow !... More ››
 79 - What's grey and goes round and round ? An elephant in a washing machine !... More ››
 80 - What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant !... More ››
 81 - Teacher: "Name six wild animals" Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"... More ››
 82 - What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el... More ››
 83 - Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ? Elephanta Claus !... More ››
 84 - Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.... More ››
 85 - What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !... More ››
 86 - What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater ? Warren !... More ››
 87 - What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !... More ››
 88 - What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ? Six weeks old !... More ››
 89 - Why do elephants eat raw food ? Because they don't know how to cook !... More ››
 90 - What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !... More ››
 91 - What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...... More ››
 92 - Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns.... More ››
 93 - What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !... More ››
 94 - Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.... More ››
 95 - What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !... More ››
 96 - Why did the elephant eat the candle ? For light refreshment !... More ››
 97 - What's blue and has big ears ? An elephant at the North Pole !... More ››
 98 - Why are elephants grey ? So you can tell them from flamingos !... More ››
 99 - Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!... More ››
 100 - What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !... More ››
 101 - What's grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !... More ››
 102 - What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !... More ››
 103 - My elephants got no trunk ? How does it smell ? Terrible !... More ››
 104 - How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !... More ››
 105 - What do you find in an elephants graveyard ? Elephantoms !... More ››
 106 - What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !... More ››
 107 - What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !... More ››
 108 - What's big, grey and flies straight up ? An elecopter !... More ››
 109 - How do you hire an elephant ? Stand it on four bricks !... More ››
 110 - What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.... More ››
 111 - What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !... More ››
 112 - Two elephants jumped off a cliff....... BOOM BOOM!... More ››
 113 - What's grey and lights up ? An electric elephant !... More ››
 114 - What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia... More ››
 115 - Who lost a herd of elephants ? Big bo peep !... More ››
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