1 - It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the
jungle so
the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to... More ›› 2 - 'We're going to play elephants and
circuses,' said
a little boy at kindergarten, 'Do you want to... More ›› 3 - What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers
and cheers you up when your ill ?
A get wellephant !... More ›› 4 - What's grey, beautiful and wears glass
slippers ?
Cinderelephant !... More ›› 5 - What is worse than raining cats and dogs
?
Raining elephants !... More ›› 6 - An elephant was walking in a park. With each
step he took, he
squished many little ants. Upset,... More ›› 7 - Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What
have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of e... More ›› 8 - A boy with an elephant on his head went to
see a
doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really n... More ›› 9 - Bill:"My homework is really difficult
tonight, I've to
write an essay on an elephant."?
Bert:"W... More ›› 10 - Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a
ton in the highway.
Police ask motorists to drive c... More ›› 11 - Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant
?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too b... More ›› 12 - What's the difference between
an African
elephant and an Indian elephant ?
About 3,000 miles !... More ›› 13 - Why are elephants wiser than chickens
?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!... More ›› 14 - Why do elephants prefer peanuts to
caviar?
Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.... More ›› 15 - Why don't elephants like playing cards in
the
jungle ?
Because of all the cheetahs !... More ›› 16 - How do you know that peanuts are
fattening ?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?... More ›› 17 - Why does an elephant
wear sneakers
?
So that he can sneak up on mice !... More ›› 18 - What's grey but turns red ?
An
embarrassed elephant !... More ›› 19 - How to elephants talk to each other ?
By
'elephone !... More ›› 20 - Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very
powerful?
Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin... More ›› 21 - Why do elephants squirt
water through
their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'... More ›› 22 - What's the difference between an injured
elephant
and bad weather ?
One roars with pain and the... More ›› 23 - How do you fit
five elephants into a car
?
Two in the front, two in the back and the other in t... More ›› 24 - What's the difference between an elephant
and
a piece of paper ?
You can't make a paper aeropla... More ›› 25 - What is stronger an elephant or a snail
?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant jus... More ›› 26 - Have you heard about the
elephant that
went on a crash diet ?
He wrecked three cars, a bus and... More ›› 27 - What to you get if you cross a parrot with an
elephant ?
An animal that tells you everything th... More ›› 28 - Why are elephants large, grey and
wrinkly?
Because if they were small round and white, they would... More ›› 29 - What did the hotel manager say to the
elephant
that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack your trunk and... More ›› 30 - Why did the elephant paint
himself with
different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the col... More ›› 31 - What's the difference between an elephant
and
a bad pupil ?
One rarely bites and the other bare... More ›› 32 - What's the
difference between a sick
elephant and seven days ?
One is a weak one and the other... More ›› 33 - Why were the
elephants thrown out of the
swimming pool ?
Because they couldn't hold their trunk... More ›› 34 - Teacher:"To which family
does the
elephant belong ?"
Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns on... More ›› 35 - What's the difference
between an
elephant and a banana ?
Have you ever tried to peel an elephan... More ›› 36 - What's grey, stands in a river when it
rains and doesn't get wet ?
An elephant with an umbrella... More ›› 37 - What do you call an elephant with a
carrot in each ear ?
Anything you want as he can't hear you... More ›› 38 - What did the grape say when the
elephant
stood on it ?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine !... More ›› 39 - What do you call an elephant creeping through
the jungle in
the middle of the night ?
Russell !... More ›› 40 - What animals were last
to leave the ark
?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !... More ›› 41 - What's yellow on the outside and grey on the
inside ?
An elephant disguised as a banana !... More ›› 42 - How can you tell if there is
an elephant
in your dessert ?
You get very lumpy ice cream !... More ›› 43 - What do you get if you cross an elephant and a
kangaroo
?
Big holes all over Australia !... More ›› 44 - What did the elephant say to the famous
detective ?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !... More ›› 45 - What did the elephant say when the man
grabbed
him by the tail ?
This is the end of me !... More ›› 46 - How to you tell the
difference between an
elephant and a mouse ?
Try picking them up !... More ›› 47 - What do you call an
elephant that lies
across the middle of a tennis court ?
Annette !... More ›› 48 - Why don't elephants like martinis?
Have
you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?... More ›› 49 - Q: What happened when the elephant sat on
the car?
A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!... More ›› 50 - What's the difference between an elephant
and a
gooseberry ?
A gooseberry is green !... More ›› 51 - What do you get if
you cross an elephant
with the abominable snowman?
A jumbo yeti.... More ›› 52 - Why did the elephant
paint his toenails
red ?
So he could hide in the cherry tree !... More ›› 53 - How does an elephant get down from a tree
?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !... More ›› 54 - What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every
twenty seconds ?
An elephant with hiccups !... More ›› 55 - Why did the elephant jump in
the lake
when it began to rain ?
To stop getting wet !... More ›› 56 - What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives
money
to elephants ?
The tusk fairy !... More ›› 57 - What did the baby elephant get when
the
daddy elephant sneezed ?
Out of the way !... More ›› 58 - How
do you make an elephant sandwich?
First of all, you get a very large loaf...... More ›› 59 - How does an elephant go up a tree?
It
stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.... More ›› 60 - Why do the elephants have short tails
?
Because they can't remember long stories !... More ›› 61 - Why do
elephants live in the
jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.... More ›› 62 - Why do elephants have trunks ?
Because
they would look silly carrying suitcases !... More ›› 63 - What do you do with old cannon balls
?
Give them to elephants to use as marbles !... More ›› 64 - What's big and grey and lives in
a lake
in Scotland ?
The Loch Ness Elephant !... More ›› 65 - Why did the elephant cross the road
?
Because the chicken was having a day off !... More ›› 66 - What did Tarzan say when he saw the
elephants coming ?
Here come the elephants... More ›› 67 - What's grey and moves at a hundred
miles
an hour ?
A jet propelled elephant !... More ›› 68 - How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !... More ›› 69 - Why do
elephants do well in school
?
Because they have a lot of grey matter !... More ›› 70 - How do you stop an angry elephant from
charging ?
Take away it's credit cards !... More ›› 71 - What pill would you give to an elephant that
can't sleep ?
Trunkquilizers !... More ›› 72 - Why is an elephant braver
than a hen
?
Because the elephant isn't chicken !... More ›› 73 - When should you feed milk to a baby elephant
?
When it's a baby elephant !... More ›› 74 - Why do elephants have trunks ?
Because
they've no pockets to put things in !... More ›› 75 - How does an elephant get out of a small car
?
The same way that he got in !... More ›› 76 - What is the easy way to get a wild elephant
?
Get a tame one and annoy it !... More ›› 77 - What's the best way to see a charging herd
of elephants ?
On television !... More ›› 78 - What's as big as an elephant but
weighs
nothing ?
An elephant's shadow !... More ›› 79 - What's grey and goes round and round ?
An
elephant in a washing machine !... More ›› 80 - What's big and grey and protects
you
from the rain ?
An umbrellaphant !... More ›› 81 - Teacher: "Name six
wild
animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"... More ›› 82 - What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ?
An
elephant with spare parts !el... More ›› 83 - Who do elephants get their christmas
presents from ?
Elephanta Claus !... More ›› 84 - Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it
was under the elephants foot.... More ›› 85 - What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ?
An
elephant holding its breath !... More ›› 86 - What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up
it's sweater
?
Warren !... More ›› 87 - What goes up slowly and comes down quickly
?
An elephant in a lift !... More ›› 88 - What is a baby elephant after he is five
weeks
old ?
Six weeks old !... More ›› 89 - Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Because
they don't know how to cook !... More ›› 90 - What do you call the rabbit up the
elephant's
sweater ?
Terrified !... More ›› 91 - What do
elephants sing at christmas
?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...... More ›› 92 - Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's
toes?
A: Slow clowns.... More ›› 93 - What's big and grey and wears a mask
?
The elephantom of the opera !... More ›› 94 - Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So
they won't step on the fish.... More ›› 95 - What do elephants say as a compliment
?
You look elephantastic !... More ›› 96 - Why did the
elephant eat the candle
?
For light refreshment !... More ›› 97 - What's blue and has big ears ?
An
elephant at the North Pole !... More ›› 98 - Why are elephants grey ?
So you can tell
them from flamingos !... More ›› 99 - Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He
wanted a light snack!... More ›› 100 - What do you give an elephant with big feet
?
Plenty of room !... More ›› 101 - What's grey and never needs ironing ?
A
drip dry elephant !... More ›› 102 - What do you call an elephant that can't do
sums ?
Dumbo !... More ›› 103 - My elephants got no trunk ?
How does it
smell ?
Terrible !... More ›› 104 - How do you raise a baby elephant ?
With a
fork lift truck !... More ›› 105 - What do you find in an elephants graveyard
?
Elephantoms !... More ›› 106 - What do elephants do in
the evenings
?
Watch elevision !... More ›› 107 - What do you call an elephant
that flies
?
A jumbo jet !... More ›› 108 - What's big, grey and flies straight up
?
An elecopter !... More ›› 109 - How do you hire an elephant ?
Stand it on
four bricks !... More ›› 110 - What does a bald elephant
wear for a
toupee?
A sheep.... More ›› 111 - What kind of elephants live in Antartica
?
Cold ones !... More ›› 112 - Two elephants jumped off a
cliff.......
BOOM BOOM!... More ›› 113 - What's grey and lights up ?
An electric
elephant !... More ›› 114 - What is an elephants favourite film
?
Elephantasia... More ›› 115 - Who lost a herd of elephants ?
Big bo peep
!... More ›› |
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