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The Best Elephant Jokes: |
| 1) Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What
have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chas... Show Complete |
| 2) It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the
jungle so
the Elephants decided to challe... Show Complete |
| 3) An elephant was walking in a park. With each
step he took, he
squished many littl... Show Complete |
| 4) 'We're going to play elephants and
circuses,' said
a little boy at kindergarten,... Show Complete |
| 5) A boy with an elephant on his head went to
see a
doctor. The doctor said, "You kn... Show Complete |
| 6) Bill:"My homework is really difficult
tonight, I've to
write an essay on an eleph... Show Complete |
| 7) Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a
ton in the highway.
Police ask motor... Show Complete |
| 8) Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very
powerful?
Well, a jumbo jet can keep... Show Complete |
| 9) Why do elephants squirt
water through
their noses?
If they squirted it through t... Show Complete |
| 10) What's the difference between an injured
elephant
and bad weather ?
One roars wi... Show Complete |
| 11) How do you fit
five elephants into a car
?
Two in the front, two in the back and... Show Complete |
| 12) What's the difference between an elephant
and
a piece of paper ?
You can't make... Show Complete |
| 13) What is stronger an elephant or a snail
?
A snail, because it carries it's house,... Show Complete |
| 14) Have you heard about the
elephant that
went on a crash diet ?
He wrecked three c... Show Complete |
| 15) What to you get if you cross a parrot with an
elephant ?
An animal that tells yo... Show Complete |
| 16) Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant
?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them... Show Complete |
| 17) Why are elephants large, grey and
wrinkly?
Because if they were small round and wh... Show Complete |
| 18) What did the hotel manager say to the
elephant
that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack... Show Complete |
| 19) Why did the elephant paint
himself with
different colours?
Because he wanted to... Show Complete |
| 20) What's the difference between an elephant
and
a bad pupil ?
One rarely bites and... Show Complete |
| 21) What's the
difference between a sick
elephant and seven days ?
One is a weak one... Show Complete |
| 22) Why were the
elephants thrown out of the
swimming pool ?
Because they couldn't h... Show Complete |
| 23) Teacher:"To which family
does the
elephant belong ?"
Pupil:"I don't know, nobody... Show Complete |
| 24) What's the difference
between an
elephant and a banana ?
Have you ever tried to... Show Complete |
| 25) What's grey, stands in a river when it
rains and doesn't get wet ?
An elephant w... Show Complete |
| 26) What do you call an elephant with a
carrot in each ear ?
Anything you want as he... Show Complete |
| 27) What did the grape say when the
elephant
stood on it ?
Nothing, it just let out... Show Complete |
| 28) What do you call an elephant creeping through
the jungle in
the middle of the nig... Show Complete |
| 29) What's the difference between
an African
elephant and an Indian elephant ?
About... Show Complete |
| 30) What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers
and cheers you up when your ill ?
A get... Show Complete |
| 31) What animals were last
to leave the ark
?
The elephants as they had to pack thei... Show Complete |
| 32) What's yellow on the outside and grey on the
inside ?
An elephant disguised as a... Show Complete |
| 33) How can you tell if there is
an elephant
in your dessert ?
You get very lumpy ic... Show Complete |
| 34) Why are elephants wiser than chickens
?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried El... Show Complete |
| 35) What do you get if you cross an elephant and a
kangaroo
?
Big holes all over Aus... Show Complete |
| 36) What did the elephant say to the famous
detective ?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sh... Show Complete |
| 37) What did the elephant say when the man
grabbed
him by the tail ?
This is the end... Show Complete |
| 38) Why do elephants prefer peanuts to
caviar?
Because they're easier to get at the ba... Show Complete |
| 39) How to you tell the
difference between an
elephant and a mouse ?
Try picking the... Show Complete |
| 40) What do you call an
elephant that lies
across the middle of a tennis court ?
Ann... Show Complete |
| 41) Why don't elephants like martinis?
Have
you ever tried to get an olive out of your... Show Complete |
| 42) Q: What happened when the elephant sat on
the car?
A: Everyone knows a Mercedes... Show Complete |
| 43) What's the difference between an elephant
and a
gooseberry ?
A gooseberry is gre... Show Complete |
| 44) Why don't elephants like playing cards in
the
jungle ?
Because of all the cheeta... Show Complete |
| 45) What do you get if
you cross an elephant
with the abominable snowman?
A jumbo y... Show Complete |
| 46) Why did the elephant
paint his toenails
red ?
So he could hide in the cherry tre... Show Complete |
| 47) How does an elephant get down from a tree
?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autum... Show Complete |
| 48) What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every
twenty seconds ?
An elephant with hiccup... Show Complete |
| 49) How do you know that peanuts are
fattening ?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephan... Show Complete |
| 50) Why did the elephant jump in
the lake
when it began to rain ?
To stop getting we... Show Complete |
| 51) What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives
money
to elephants ?
The tusk fairy... Show Complete |
| 52) What did the baby elephant get when
the
daddy elephant sneezed ?
Out of the way... Show Complete |
| 53) How
do you make an elephant sandwich?
First of all, you get a very large loaf..... Show Complete |
| 54) How does an elephant go up a tree?
It
stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow... Show Complete |
| 55) Why do the elephants have short tails
?
Because they can't remember long stories !... Show Complete |
| 56) Why do
elephants live in the
jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.... Show Complete |
| 57) Why do elephants have trunks ?
Because
they would look silly carrying suitcases !... Show Complete |
| 58) What do you do with old cannon balls
?
Give them to elephants to use as marbles !... Show Complete |
| 59) What's big and grey and lives in
a lake
in Scotland ?
The Loch Ness Elephant !... Show Complete |
| 60) Why did the elephant cross the road
?
Because the chicken was having a day off !... Show Complete |
| 61) What did Tarzan say when he saw the
elephants coming ?
Here come the elephants... Show Complete |
| 62) What's grey and moves at a hundred
miles
an hour ?
A jet propelled elephant !... Show Complete |
| 63) How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !... Show Complete |
| 64) Why do
elephants do well in school
?
Because they have a lot of grey matter !... Show Complete |
| 65) How do you stop an angry elephant from
charging ?
Take away it's credit cards !... Show Complete |
| 66) What pill would you give to an elephant that
can't sleep ?
Trunkquilizers !... Show Complete |
| 67) Why is an elephant braver
than a hen
?
Because the elephant isn't chicken !... Show Complete |
| 68) When should you feed milk to a baby elephant
?
When it's a baby elephant !... Show Complete |
| 69) Why do elephants have trunks ?
Because
they've no pockets to put things in !... Show Complete |
| 70) How does an elephant get out of a small car
?
The same way that he got in !... Show Complete |
| 71) What is the easy way to get a wild elephant
?
Get a tame one and annoy it !... Show Complete |
| 72) What's the best way to see a charging herd
of elephants ?
On television !... Show Complete |
| 73) What's as big as an elephant but
weighs
nothing ?
An elephant's shadow !... Show Complete |
| 74) What's grey and goes round and round ?
An
elephant in a washing machine !... Show Complete |
| 75) What's big and grey and protects
you
from the rain ?
An umbrellaphant !... Show Complete |
| 76) Teacher: "Name six
wild
animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"... Show Complete |
| 77) Why does an elephant
wear sneakers
?
So that he can sneak up on mice !... Show Complete |
| 78) What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ?
An
elephant with spare parts !el... Show Complete |
| 79) Who do elephants get their christmas
presents from ?
Elephanta Claus !... Show Complete |
| 80) Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it
was under the elephants foot.... Show Complete |
| 81) What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ?
An
elephant holding its breath !... Show Complete |
| 82) What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up
it's sweater
?
Warren !... Show Complete |
| 83) What goes up slowly and comes down quickly
?
An elephant in a lift !... Show Complete |
| 84) What is a baby elephant after he is five
weeks
old ?
Six weeks old !... Show Complete |
| 85) Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Because
they don't know how to cook !... Show Complete |
| 86) What do you call the rabbit up the
elephant's
sweater ?
Terrified !... Show Complete |
| 87) What do
elephants sing at christmas
?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...... Show Complete |
| 88) Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's
toes?
A: Slow clowns.... Show Complete |
| 89) What's big and grey and wears a mask
?
The elephantom of the opera !... Show Complete |
| 90) Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So
they won't step on the fish.... Show Complete |
| 91) What's grey, beautiful and wears glass
slippers ?
Cinderelephant !... Show Complete |
| 92) What do elephants say as a compliment
?
You look elephantastic !... Show Complete |
| 93) Why did the
elephant eat the candle
?
For light refreshment !... Show Complete |
| 94) What's blue and has big ears ?
An
elephant at the North Pole !... Show Complete |
| 95) Why are elephants grey ?
So you can tell
them from flamingos !... Show Complete |
| 96) What is worse than raining cats and dogs
?
Raining elephants !... Show Complete |
| 97) Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He
wanted a light snack!... Show Complete |
| 98) What do you give an elephant with big feet
?
Plenty of room !... Show Complete |
| 99) What's grey and never needs ironing ?
A
drip dry elephant !... Show Complete |
| 100) What do you call an elephant that can't do
sums ?
Dumbo !... Show Complete |
| 101) My elephants got no trunk ?
How does it
smell ?
Terrible !... Show Complete |
| 102) How do you raise a baby elephant ?
With a
fork lift truck !... Show Complete |
| 103) What do you find in an elephants graveyard
?
Elephantoms !... Show Complete |
| 104) What do elephants do in
the evenings
?
Watch elevision !... Show Complete |
| 105) What do you call an elephant
that flies
?
A jumbo jet !... Show Complete |
| 106) What's big, grey and flies straight up
?
An elecopter !... Show Complete |
| 107) How do you hire an elephant ?
Stand it on
four bricks !... Show Complete |
| 108) What does a bald elephant
wear for a
toupee?
A sheep.... Show Complete |
| 109) What kind of elephants live in Antartica
?
Cold ones !... Show Complete |
| 110) What's grey but turns red ?
An
embarrassed elephant !... Show Complete |
| 111) How to elephants talk to each other ?
By
'elephone !... Show Complete |
| 112) Two elephants jumped off a
cliff.......
BOOM BOOM!... Show Complete |
| 113) What's grey and lights up ?
An electric
elephant !... Show Complete |
| 114) What is an elephants favourite film
?
Elephantasia... Show Complete |
| 115) Who lost a herd of elephants ?
Big bo peep
!... Show Complete |
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