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The Best Food Jokes: |
| 1) A man
went into a deli shop and took a seat
at the lunch coun... Show more |
| 2) A customer was bothering the waiter in a
restaurant.
First, h... Show more |
| 3) A customer was bothering the
waiter in a
restaurant. First, h... Show more |
| 4) An elderly couple were killed in an accident and
found themselv... Show more |
| 5) An elderly couple were killed in an
accident
and found themse... Show more |
| 6) In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a
32-year-old man an... Show more |
| 7) One day, Bill and Tom went to a
restaurant for
dinner. As soo... Show more |
| 8) At a dinner party, one
of the guests, an
obnoxiously loud you... Show more |
| 9) An
irate woman burst into the baker's shop
and said, "I sent... Show more |
| 10) A friend and I were standing in line at a
fast-food restauran... Show more |
| 11) A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered
two
slices of apple p... Show more |
| 12) When the waitress in a
New York City restaurant brought
him t... Show more |
| 13) Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to
eat?
Father: Have... Show more |
| 14) The
American tourist in Dublin had been
complaining a great d... Show more |
| 15) I went to see my doctor to see if he could help
me give up sm... Show more |
| 16) A family of three tomatoes
were walking
downtown one day when... Show more |
| 17) A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
one day when... Show more |
| 18) A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys
at the grocery... Show more |
| 19) At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after
egg from a littl... Show more |
| 20) Several women were discussing what they should
have for
dinne... Show more |
| 21) First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her
skin
had the... Show more |
| 22) "May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you p... Show more |
| 23) Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to
instil good... Show more |
| 24) Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the
larder yeste... Show more |
| 25) What are the four food groups?
For
bachelors: Fast, Frozen,... Show more |
| 26) Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch
today. .
Cook: T... Show more |
| 27) And what's your name?" the
secretary asked
the next new boy.... Show more |
| 28) WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a
nice steak, mashed... Show more |
| 29) What could you do if you were on a
desert
island without food... Show more |
| 30) Three cookies were crossing the road when the
first one was k... Show more |
| 31) A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in
Ireland. "I'll... Show more |
| 32) Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so... Show more |
| 33) Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so... Show more |
| 34) If there were no food left, what could people
do?
Country peop... Show more |
| 35) Flo: Try some of my sponge cake.
Joe: It's a
bit tough.
Flo... Show more |
| 36) What's the difference between a biscuit and a
monster?
You ca... Show more |
| 37) Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Mrs
Jones: Yes, very... Show more |
| 38) Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found
you
with your fingers... Show more |
| 39) Boy: What's black, slimy,
with hairy legs
and eyes on stalks?... Show more |
| 40) Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.
I know, but I wan... Show more |
| 41) How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
She
holds the pan and g... Show more |
| 42) What did the snake say when he was offered a
piece of
cheese... Show more |
| 43) Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to
come
away from... Show more |
| 44) How can you tell the
difference between a can
of chicken soup... Show more |
| 45) Q: Ever wonder
about people who pay $2 for a
bottle of Evian... Show more |
| 46) My Aunt Maud had so many candles
on her last
birthday cake th... Show more |
| 47) Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
slice
of bread.
Docto... Show more |
| 48) Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what
fruit
would... Show more |
| 49) A
couple of kids tried using pickles for a
Ping-Pong game. Th... Show more |
| 50) Camper: There's
something wrong with my hot
dog.
Cook: Don't... Show more |
| 51) What happens
if you play tabletennis with a
bad egg?
First... Show more |
| 52) What's the difference between a homeless and a
pizza?
A p... Show more |
| 53) How do you know that a elephant's been in the
fridge?
There a... Show more |
| 54) What's the difference between a vampire
and
a cookie?
You c... Show more |
| 55) What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter
of a pound... Show more |
| 56) What did the female mushroom say
about the
male mushroom?... Show more |
| 57) Q. What's worse
than finding a worm in the
apple you're eatin... Show more |
| 58) Why can't you make bread like my mother?
I
would if you could... Show more |
| 59) I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I
am. The shape I... Show more |
| 60) My brother's on a seafood
diet.
Really?
Yes, the more he... Show more |
| 61) On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker
under the pan... Show more |
| 62) Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch
Doll?
Be quiet... Show more |
| 63) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Butter
!
Butter who ?
Butter wrap... Show more |
| 64) A new chef from India
was fired a week after
starting the job... Show more |
| 65) Why did the teacher have
her hair in a bun?
Because she had... Show more |
| 66) Q: What did one strawberry say to the
other?
A:"Look at the ja... Show more |
| 67) Why did your brother give up his job in the
biscuit factory?
B... Show more |
| 68) Have you got any broken
biscuits?
Yes, I
have.
Well, you... Show more |
| 69) WIFE: The 2 things I cook best
are meatloaf
and apple pie.
H... Show more |
| 70) Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula:
Marshmallows,
ch... Show more |
| 71) What is the title of the new Vietnamamese
cookbook ?
100 w... Show more |
| 72) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bacon !
Bacon
who ?
Bacon a cake... Show more |
| 73) Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is
butter made fro... Show more |
| 74) Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine?
They keep repe... Show more |
| 75) Did
you hear about the two peanuts walking in
the woods?
One... Show more |
| 76) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bean !
Bean
who ?
Bean working ve... Show more |
| 77) What did the ice cream say
to the unhappy
cake?
"Hey, what'... Show more |
| 78) The snack bar next door to an
atom smasher
was called "The Fi... Show more |
| 79) A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he
suffers from pic... Show more |
| 80) What did the biscuit say when it
saw two
friends knocked down... Show more |
| 81) What's the fastest cake in the world?
Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn... Show more |
| 82) What do you call an egg from outer space?
An
unidentified flyi... Show more |
| 83) I'd say he was spineless.
Yes, about as
spineless as cooked s... Show more |
| 84) What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of bod... Show more |
| 85) Why did the biscuit cry?
Because its mother
had been a wafer... Show more |
| 86) Have you heard the story about the
loaf of
bread?
No.
Oh,... Show more |
| 87) What do you get if you cross an alien and a
hot drink ?
Grav... Show more |
| 88) Q:
What what can you make from baked beans
and onions?
A: Te... Show more |
| 89) Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey
Baby, what's SH... Show more |
| 90) Why did the grape cross the road?
To get
away from the grape... Show more |
| 91) They say she has a sharp tongue.
Yes, she can
slice bread wit... Show more |
| 92) Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?
Why? Do I look like... Show more |
| 93) Would you like a duck egg for supper?
Only if
you quack it fo... Show more |
| 94) When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
become?
Lone L... Show more |
| 95) Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. He
was feeling crumm... Show more |
| 96) What's red and green and wears
boxing
gloves?
A fruit punch... Show more |
| 97) Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef !
Beef
who ?
Beef fair now !... Show more |
| 98) What looks just
like half a loaf of bread?
Its other half.... Show more |
| 99) What do you call two
rows of cabbages ?
A
dual cabbageway !... Show more |
| 100) Why are oranges like bells?
You can peel
(peal) both of them.... Show more |
| 101) Q: What do you call cheese that's not
yours?
A: Nacho cheese!... Show more |
| 102) The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and
Chocolate.... Show more |
| 103) Overweight is something that just sort of
snacks up on you.... Show more |
| 104) How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots
(carats) to it.... Show more |
| 105) What food are you able to can?
Cannibal (can
able) food.... Show more |
| 106) What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A
hamster.... Show more |
| 107) What ghost is handy in the
kitchen?
A
recipe spook.... Show more |
| 108) What
cake wanted to rule the world?
Attila the Bun.... Show more |
| 109) What musical instrument goes with cheese?
Picklelo.... Show more |
| 110) Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay
waiter."... Show more |
| 111) What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered
host.... Show more |
| 112) What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a
farmer.... Show more |
| 113) Q: What do you call a
fake noodle?
A: An
Impasta.... Show more |
| 114) How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in
it.... Show more |
| 115) What food is good for the brain?
Noodle
soup.... Show more |
| 116) What's the best day to eat bacon?
Fry-day.... Show more |
| 117) What's red and invisible?
No
tomatoes.... Show more |
| 118) What vegetable needs a plumber?
A leek.... Show more |
| 119) What's a doll's favorite food?
Barbie-Q!... Show more |
| 120) What are apricots?
Where monkeys sleep.... Show more |
| 121) What cheese is made
backwards?
Edam.... Show more |
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