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HORSE JOKES!

horse JOKES (random)

Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY horse JOKES:

 1 - A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler... More ››
 2 - What did the city worker say after his first ever pony trek? I never knew anything stuffed with... More ››
 3 - Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms aroun... More ››
 4 - Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!... More ››
 5 - Why are clouds like jockeys? Because they hold the reins!... More ››
 6 - How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!... More ››
 7 - Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enoug... More ››
 8 - You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neith... More ››
 9 - Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"... More ››
 10 - As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!... More ››
 11 - Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!... More ››
 12 - Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!... More ››
 13 - A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull... More ››
 14 - Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His fr... More ››
 15 - "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You cer... More ››
 16 - "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certa... More ››
 17 - What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car? Stop beati... More ››
 18 - A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church.... More ››
 19 - Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 p... More ››
 20 - Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand N... More ››
 21 - Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does... More ››
 22 - What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show? I wish I could hear yo... More ››
 23 - What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at... More ››
 24 - Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. M... More ››
 25 - Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overti... More ››
 26 - Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job... More ››
 27 - Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!... More ››
 28 - How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!... More ››
 29 - Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They're always switching their tails!... More ››
 30 - What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.... More ››
 31 - What is the difference between a horse and a duck? One goes quick and the other goes quack!... More ››
 32 - Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path!... More ››
 33 - What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on? It made him shy!... More ››
 34 - Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses? Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!... More ››
 35 - How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!... More ››
 36 - What has four legs and see just as well from either end? A horse with his eyes closed!... More ››
 37 - Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? An exhorsist!... More ››
 38 - Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof? Because he wanted to feel his oats!... More ››
 39 - Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!... More ››
 40 - Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!... More ››
 41 - Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? It was a crusty steed!... More ››
 42 - Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot... More ››
 43 - Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!... More ››
 44 - Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide!... More ››
 45 - What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !... More ››
 46 - Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.... More ››
 47 - You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!... More ››
 48 - What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water? Jockey and Jill!... More ››
 49 - What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!... More ››
 50 - How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!... More ››
 51 - What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh? An Appaloosa!... More ››
 52 - What do you call a horse that's been all around the world? A globe-trotter!... More ››
 53 - Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can't be used until it's broken!... More ››
 54 - Why is the old, decrepit horse named Flattery? Because it gets you nowhere!... More ››
 55 - Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore... More ››
 56 - What's black and white and turns cartwheels? A piebald horse pulling a cart!... More ››
 57 - Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!... More ››
 58 - What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? A tale of whoa!... More ››
 59 - Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!... More ››
 60 - Why did the man call his horse Fleabag? Because he was often scratched!... More ››
 61 - What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!... More ››
 62 - What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!... More ››
 63 - Why is a racehorse like a letter? They both begin a trip at the post!... More ››
 64 - What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!... More ››
 65 - Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!... More ››
 66 - Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!... More ››
 67 - What duo were famous for stealing horses? Bonnie and Clydesdale!... More ››
 68 - What's another name for an assistant stable cleaner? A co-pile-it!... More ››
 69 - Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!... More ››
 70 - What is horse sense? Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!... More ››
 71 - What person strives to ensure safety for horses? Ralph Neighder!... More ››
 72 - Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!... More ››
 73 - What's as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? A horses shadow!... More ››
 74 - Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys.... More ››
 75 - What is the slowest racehorse in the world ? A clotheshorse !... More ››
 76 - What do you call the horse than lives next door? A neighbour!... More ››
 77 - What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!... More ››
 78 - What is a jockey's motto? Put your money where your mount is!... More ››
 79 - How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!... More ››
 80 - What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds? A zebra!... More ››
 81 - What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A hoarse horse!... More ››
 82 - What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.... More ››
 83 - Where did the newlywed horses stay? In the bridle suite!... More ››
 84 - Why did the horse miss the joust? He had the knight off!... More ››
 85 - Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!... More ››
 86 - Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?... More ››
 87 - How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.... More ››
 88 - What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse? Two bits!... More ››
 89 - What is a horse's favourite sport? Stable tennis!... More ››
 90 - Where do you take a sick horse? To the Horspital!... More ››
 91 - How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!... More ››
 92 - What is a horses favourite TV show? Neeeebours... More ››
 93 - What disease do horses fear most? Hay Fever!... More ››
 94 - What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup.... More ››
 95 - What equine likes to cut in line? A sawhorse!... More ››
 96 - What is a thespian pony? A little horse play!... More ››
 97 - When does a horse neigh? Whinny wants to!... More ››
 98 - What goes "Clip"? A one legged horse!... More ››
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