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The Best Horse Jokes: |
| 1) Why is horse racing so romantic?
Because the
horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts... Show Complete |
| 2) A man has a racehorse, never won a
race. Man
in disgust says," Horse, you win tod... Show Complete |
| 3) A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and
asked for one spur. "One spur?" as... Show Complete |
| 4) Did you hear about the Irishman who
couldn't tell the difference between his two... Show Complete |
| 5) "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the
owner asked the vet.
The vet re... Show Complete |
| 6) "Will I ever be able to race my
horse again" the owner asked the vet.
The vet repl... Show Complete |
| 7) What did the city worker say after his first
ever
pony trek?
I never knew anythi... Show Complete |
| 8) Did you hear about the man who
received a
tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He di... Show Complete |
| 9) What did the wife say to the
undertaker when
he started hitting his broken down c... Show Complete |
| 10) A stallion and a mare where due to get married,
but the stallion
didn't show up a... Show Complete |
| 11) Did you hear about the overweight
man who
took up horse riding as exercise?
The... Show Complete |
| 12) Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but
oats every day?
He fell in love w... Show Complete |
| 13) You said this horse could
jump as high as a
ten foot fence and he can't jump at a... Show Complete |
| 14) Did you hear about the horse that has made a
dozen films?
He's not a star though... Show Complete |
| 15) What did the
horse say to whinnie the pooh
while watching his t.v. show?
I wish... Show Complete |
| 16) What is the strongest
animal?
A
racehorse, because it can take hundreds of peopl... Show Complete |
| 17) Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse:
Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Sa... Show Complete |
| 18) Did you hear about the race horse that was so
late coming in?
They had to pay th... Show Complete |
| 19) Why was the horseman fired from his job of
saddle testing?
He was always standin... Show Complete |
| 20) Did you find my horse well
behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let m... Show Complete |
| 21) How did the instructor try to make horse riding
enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup s... Show Complete |
| 22) Why is it difficult to
identify horses from
the back?
They're always switching t... Show Complete |
| 23) What does it mean if you find a horse
shoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in h... Show Complete |
| 24) What is the difference between a horse and a
duck?
One goes quick and the other go... Show Complete |
| 25) Which route should you take through the woods
when riding a fizzy horse?
The psy... Show Complete |
| 26) What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he
saw she had
no clothes on?
It made... Show Complete |
| 27) Why is Dick Clark a
favourite star with
horses?
Because he was a disk jockey fro... Show Complete |
| 28) How do jockeys determine which
racehorses
are the favourites?
They take a gallop... Show Complete |
| 29) What has four legs and see just as well from
either end?
A horse with his eyes c... Show Complete |
| 30) Who did the breeder call when his horse was
possessed by an evil spirit?
An exho... Show Complete |
| 31) Why did the horse stir his cereal with his
hoof?
Because he wanted to feel his o... Show Complete |
| 32) Did you hear about the man
with five keen
senses?
He still lacked common and hor... Show Complete |
| 33) Why did the artist put on a show of
horse
paintings?
He wanted to mount an exhib... Show Complete |
| 34) Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large
loaf of bread?
It was a crusty stee... Show Complete |
| 35) Where did the Knights of the Round Table park
their
horses?
In the Sir Lance Lot... Show Complete |
| 36) Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
He
thought he might get a kick out of it!... Show Complete |
| 37) Why did the farmer call his
horse
Baseball?
Because it's covered with horsehide!... Show Complete |
| 38) What kind of horse can swim underwater
without coming up for air ?
A seahorse !... Show Complete |
| 39) Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.... Show Complete |
| 40) Did you hear about
the horse with the
negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"... Show Complete |
| 41) You said it was a great horse and it is.
It
took twenty other horses to beat him!... Show Complete |
| 42) What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a
pail of water?
Jockey and Jill!... Show Complete |
| 43) What happened to the man who owned a riding
academy?
Business kept falling off!... Show Complete |
| 44) How do you make a small fortune out of
horses?
Start off with a large fortune!... Show Complete |
| 45) What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of
his Macintosh?
An Appaloosa!... Show Complete |
| 46) What do you call a horse that's been all around
the world?
A globe-trotter!... Show Complete |
| 47) Why is an egg like a young horse?
Because it
can't be used until it's broken!... Show Complete |
| 48) Why is the old, decrepit horse named
Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere!... Show Complete |
| 49) Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse
Trek"
Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore... Show Complete |
| 50) What's black and white and turns
cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart!... Show Complete |
| 51) Did you
hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It
got angry and bit at the champ!... Show Complete |
| 52) What is the best type of
story to tell a
runaway horse?
A tale of whoa!... Show Complete |
| 53) Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He
was the last of his race!... Show Complete |
| 54) Why did the man call his horse
Fleabag?
Because he was often scratched!... Show Complete |
| 55) What's the hardest thing about learning to ride
a horse?
The ground!... Show Complete |
| 56) What happened to the horse that swallowed a
dollar
bill?
It bucked!... Show Complete |
| 57) Why is a racehorse like a letter?
They both
begin a trip at the post!... Show Complete |
| 58) What do you call a horse that plays the
violin?
Fiddler on the hoof!... Show Complete |
| 59) Why is manna from heaven like
horse
hay?
Both are food from aloft!... Show Complete |
| 60) Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because
bad news travels fast!... Show Complete |
| 61) What duo were famous
for stealing horses?
Bonnie and
Clydesdale!... Show Complete |
| 62) What's another name for an assistant stable
cleaner?
A co-pile-it!... Show Complete |
| 63) Why are chorus girls like barge horses?
They
have to tow the line!... Show Complete |
| 64) As horses say to one another.
Any friend of
yours is a palomino!... Show Complete |
| 65) What is horse sense?
Stable thinking and the
ability to say nay!... Show Complete |
| 66) What person strives to ensure safety for
horses?
Ralph Neighder!... Show Complete |
| 67) Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!... Show Complete |
| 68) Why was the racehorse names Strawberry
Ice?
He was a sherbet!... Show Complete |
| 69) What's as big as a horse, but weighs
nothing?
A horses shadow!... Show Complete |
| 70) Why did the horse go behind the
tree?
To
change his jockeys.... Show Complete |
| 71) What is the slowest racehorse in the world ?
A clotheshorse !... Show Complete |
| 72) What do you call the horse than lives next
door?
A neighbour!... Show Complete |
| 73) What does ever horse and rider do at the same
time?
Grow old!... Show Complete |
| 74) What is a jockey's motto?
Put your money
where your mount is!... Show Complete |
| 75) Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He
was a rough rider!... Show Complete |
| 76) How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two
pairs of stilts!... Show Complete |
| 77) What do you call a horse wearing Venetian
blinds?
A zebra!... Show Complete |
| 78) What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A
hoarse horse!... Show Complete |
| 79) Why are clouds like jockeys?
Because they
hold the reins!... Show Complete |
| 80) What is a horses favourite kind of party?
A
stall ball.... Show Complete |
| 81) Where did the newlywed horses stay?
In the
bridle suite!... Show Complete |
| 82) Why did the horse miss the joust?
He had the
knight off!... Show Complete |
| 83) Why was the man sued by his
horse?
For
palomino-money!... Show Complete |
| 84) Did you hear about
the man who named his
horse Radish?... Show Complete |
| 85) How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots
of carrots.... Show Complete |
| 86) What goes into the mouth of a quarter
horse?
Two bits!... Show Complete |
| 87) Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some
haywire!... Show Complete |
| 88) How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under
each hoof!... Show Complete |
| 89) What is a horse's favourite sport?
Stable
tennis!... Show Complete |
| 90) Where do you take a sick horse?
To the
Horspital!... Show Complete |
| 91) How much money did the bronco have?
Only a
buck!... Show Complete |
| 92) What is a horses favourite TV show?
Neeeebours... Show Complete |
| 93) What disease do horses fear most?
Hay
Fever!... Show Complete |
| 94) What do you give a sick horse?
Cough
stirrup.... Show Complete |
| 95) What equine likes to cut in line?
A
sawhorse!... Show Complete |
| 96) What is a thespian pony?
A little horse
play!... Show Complete |
| 97) When does a horse neigh?
Whinny wants to!... Show Complete |
| 98) What goes "Clip"?
A one legged horse!... Show Complete |
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