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The Best Horse Jokes: |
| 1) Why is horse racing so romantic?
Because the
horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts... Read On » |
| 2) Where do you take a sick horse?
To the
Horspital!... Read On » |
| 3) A man has a racehorse, never won a
race. Man
in disgust says," Horse, you win tod... Read On » |
| 4) A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and
asked for one spur. "One spur?" as... Read On » |
| 5) Did you hear about the Irishman who
couldn't tell the difference between his two... Read On » |
| 6) "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the
owner asked the vet.
The vet re... Read On » |
| 7) "Will I ever be able to race my
horse again" the owner asked the vet.
The vet repl... Read On » |
| 8) What did the city worker say after his first
ever
pony trek?
I never knew anythi... Read On » |
| 9) Did you hear about the man who
received a
tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He di... Read On » |
| 10) What did the wife say to the
undertaker when
he started hitting his broken down c... Read On » |
| 11) A stallion and a mare where due to get married,
but the stallion
didn't show up a... Read On » |
| 12) Did you hear about the overweight
man who
took up horse riding as exercise?
The... Read On » |
| 13) Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but
oats every day?
He fell in love w... Read On » |
| 14) You said this horse could
jump as high as a
ten foot fence and he can't jump at a... Read On » |
| 15) Did you hear about the horse that has made a
dozen films?
He's not a star though... Read On » |
| 16) What did the
horse say to whinnie the pooh
while watching his t.v. show?
I wish... Read On » |
| 17) What is the strongest
animal?
A
racehorse, because it can take hundreds of peopl... Read On » |
| 18) Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse:
Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Sa... Read On » |
| 19) Did you hear about the race horse that was so
late coming in?
They had to pay th... Read On » |
| 20) Why was the horseman fired from his job of
saddle testing?
He was always standin... Read On » |
| 21) Did you find my horse well
behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let m... Read On » |
| 22) How did the instructor try to make horse riding
enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup s... Read On » |
| 23) Why is it difficult to
identify horses from
the back?
They're always switching t... Read On » |
| 24) What does it mean if you find a horse
shoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in h... Read On » |
| 25) What is the difference between a horse and a
duck?
One goes quick and the other go... Read On » |
| 26) Which route should you take through the woods
when riding a fizzy horse?
The psy... Read On » |
| 27) What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he
saw she had
no clothes on?
It made... Read On » |
| 28) Why is Dick Clark a
favourite star with
horses?
Because he was a disk jockey fro... Read On » |
| 29) How do jockeys determine which
racehorses
are the favourites?
They take a gallop... Read On » |
| 30) What has four legs and see just as well from
either end?
A horse with his eyes c... Read On » |
| 31) Who did the breeder call when his horse was
possessed by an evil spirit?
An exho... Read On » |
| 32) Why did the horse stir his cereal with his
hoof?
Because he wanted to feel his o... Read On » |
| 33) Did you hear about the man
with five keen
senses?
He still lacked common and hor... Read On » |
| 34) Why did the artist put on a show of
horse
paintings?
He wanted to mount an exhib... Read On » |
| 35) Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large
loaf of bread?
It was a crusty stee... Read On » |
| 36) Where did the Knights of the Round Table park
their
horses?
In the Sir Lance Lot... Read On » |
| 37) Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
He
thought he might get a kick out of it!... Read On » |
| 38) Why did the farmer call his
horse
Baseball?
Because it's covered with horsehide!... Read On » |
| 39) What kind of horse can swim underwater
without coming up for air ?
A seahorse !... Read On » |
| 40) Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.... Read On » |
| 41) Did you hear about
the horse with the
negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"... Read On » |
| 42) You said it was a great horse and it is.
It
took twenty other horses to beat him!... Read On » |
| 43) What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a
pail of water?
Jockey and Jill!... Read On » |
| 44) What happened to the man who owned a riding
academy?
Business kept falling off!... Read On » |
| 45) How do you make a small fortune out of
horses?
Start off with a large fortune!... Read On » |
| 46) What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of
his Macintosh?
An Appaloosa!... Read On » |
| 47) What do you call a horse that's been all around
the world?
A globe-trotter!... Read On » |
| 48) Why is an egg like a young horse?
Because it
can't be used until it's broken!... Read On » |
| 49) Why is the old, decrepit horse named
Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere!... Read On » |
| 50) Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse
Trek"
Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore... Read On » |
| 51) What's black and white and turns
cartwheels?
A piebald horse pulling a cart!... Read On » |
| 52) Did you
hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It
got angry and bit at the champ!... Read On » |
| 53) What is the best type of
story to tell a
runaway horse?
A tale of whoa!... Read On » |
| 54) Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He
was the last of his race!... Read On » |
| 55) Why did the man call his horse
Fleabag?
Because he was often scratched!... Read On » |
| 56) What's the hardest thing about learning to ride
a horse?
The ground!... Read On » |
| 57) What happened to the horse that swallowed a
dollar
bill?
It bucked!... Read On » |
| 58) Why is a racehorse like a letter?
They both
begin a trip at the post!... Read On » |
| 59) What do you call a horse that plays the
violin?
Fiddler on the hoof!... Read On » |
| 60) Why is manna from heaven like
horse
hay?
Both are food from aloft!... Read On » |
| 61) Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because
bad news travels fast!... Read On » |
| 62) What duo were famous
for stealing horses?
Bonnie and
Clydesdale!... Read On » |
| 63) What's another name for an assistant stable
cleaner?
A co-pile-it!... Read On » |
| 64) Why are chorus girls like barge horses?
They
have to tow the line!... Read On » |
| 65) As horses say to one another.
Any friend of
yours is a palomino!... Read On » |
| 66) What is horse sense?
Stable thinking and the
ability to say nay!... Read On » |
| 67) What person strives to ensure safety for
horses?
Ralph Neighder!... Read On » |
| 68) Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!... Read On » |
| 69) Why was the racehorse names Strawberry
Ice?
He was a sherbet!... Read On » |
| 70) What's as big as a horse, but weighs
nothing?
A horses shadow!... Read On » |
| 71) Why did the horse go behind the
tree?
To
change his jockeys.... Read On » |
| 72) What is the slowest racehorse in the world ?
A clotheshorse !... Read On » |
| 73) What do you call the horse than lives next
door?
A neighbour!... Read On » |
| 74) What does ever horse and rider do at the same
time?
Grow old!... Read On » |
| 75) What is a jockey's motto?
Put your money
where your mount is!... Read On » |
| 76) Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He
was a rough rider!... Read On » |
| 77) How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two
pairs of stilts!... Read On » |
| 78) What do you call a horse wearing Venetian
blinds?
A zebra!... Read On » |
| 79) What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A
hoarse horse!... Read On » |
| 80) Why are clouds like jockeys?
Because they
hold the reins!... Read On » |
| 81) What is a horses favourite kind of party?
A
stall ball.... Read On » |
| 82) Where did the newlywed horses stay?
In the
bridle suite!... Read On » |
| 83) Why did the horse miss the joust?
He had the
knight off!... Read On » |
| 84) Why was the man sued by his
horse?
For
palomino-money!... Read On » |
| 85) Did you hear about
the man who named his
horse Radish?... Read On » |
| 86) How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots
of carrots.... Read On » |
| 87) What goes into the mouth of a quarter
horse?
Two bits!... Read On » |
| 88) Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some
haywire!... Read On » |
| 89) How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under
each hoof!... Read On » |
| 90) What is a horse's favourite sport?
Stable
tennis!... Read On » |
| 91) How much money did the bronco have?
Only a
buck!... Read On » |
| 92) What is a horses favourite TV show?
Neeeebours... Read On » |
| 93) What disease do horses fear most?
Hay
Fever!... Read On » |
| 94) What do you give a sick horse?
Cough
stirrup.... Read On » |
| 95) What equine likes to cut in line?
A
sawhorse!... Read On » |
| 96) What is a thespian pony?
A little horse
play!... Read On » |
| 97) When does a horse neigh?
Whinny wants to!... Read On » |
| 98) What goes "Clip"?
A one legged horse!... Read On » |