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| The Best Humor Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figure... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cru... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) A girl walked over to her neighbor's for her morning chat session. When she got t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer me... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a constructi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. Sh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanica... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) There was a guy walking down the street in San Francisco, and he tripped over a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get so... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She say... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. H... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and discussing the possibility of love. "I tho... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to l... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding. Suddenly, St... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some wa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) There once was a German schoolteacher. She went to England to teach. When she arr... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep wa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the fines... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosophe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to g... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. He im... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) A young man was strolling down a street. As he passed a large building with a f... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the livin... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've bee... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) After wedding a young couple rented a town house in a large complex. Concerned ab... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had go... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a p... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) Coleman moved to Wyoming and was sitting in the unemployment office applying for... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) After a visit to the circus, Geoff and Don were discussing the thrills and marvel... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an ech... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a d... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer lo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds. Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) This morning I felt that today was going to be my lucky day. I got up at seven, h... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) One day the counsellor got a phone call. It was from a camper who had been at cam... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods. 'How far is... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) When Fred was applying for a credit card, the manager of the credit card company... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had nev... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) The garbage men were just about to leave the street when a girl came running out... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill th... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 57) Q: How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four: One f... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 58) A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's bi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 59) I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I've d... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 60) Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes, it is a quar... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 61) At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amaze... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 62) One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 63) What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An En... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 64) A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. 'I... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 65) Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing h... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 66) Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake? Betty: That's... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 67) I'm not rich like Jack, don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 68) John was hard at work with the broom in his family's tent. His mother came in an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 69) The head Counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 70) How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Social sci... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 71) Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve,' he said in the letter. 'Why?' a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 72) There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 73) The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 74) A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why don't you play with your friends?' h... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 75) Bank manager: I'm sorry, sir, you can't open an account with this sort of money.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 76) How many architects does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to c... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 77) How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 78) How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb? "In the summer there is... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 79) The Counselor was talking to the campers about safety. She said 'Don't climb an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 80) The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp,' she... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 81) How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to chang... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 82) Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 83) New camper: I thought you said this camp has no mosquitoes. Old camper: That's r... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 84) On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best p... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 85) Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your p... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 86) Q: How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to start sc... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 87) A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints o... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 88) A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked, "how much did you pay... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 89) Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead, but... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 90) How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve. One to cha... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 91) Two guys are talking: (1) - I've bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) - Your mo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 92) Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned, a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 93) Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp. 'How did you find the steak dinne... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 94) My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 95) What's the difference between a sigh, a car and a monkey? A sigh is oh, dear. A c... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 96) So the bus driver said to the string, "Are you a string?" and the string said,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 97) How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? "Are you kidding? They wo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 98) Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 99) My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble is, he can't find a girl who loves... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 100) Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: That's what we said in the camp ad... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 101) Martin asked David, "In which state does the Ohio River run?" David answered with... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 102) Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common? A. They both look... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 103) Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soo... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 104) Dad, did you manage to fix my toy? No, it's not broken, the battery's flat. Well,... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 105) How did the octopus lovers walk down the road? Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 106) How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? "I don't know, but I... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 107) It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 108) What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 109) My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 110) My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now ? She's fine.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 111) Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to rev... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 112) Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I could... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 113) Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear? Because the bear had many... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 114) What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus? The police made him brin... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 115) Sammy: My parents are sending me to camp. Tammy: Why? Do you need a vacation? Sam... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 116) Q: Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standin... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 117) How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but 200 applie... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 118) Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper? A. Yes, if you wrap... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 119) Do you love me? Of course Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear Lemon... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 120) Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ? He had a bee in his suit... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 121) Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in ev... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 122) Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 123) What happened when the monster kissed his one true love? He left lip prints on... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 124) How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb? Third as many as for a reg... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 125) Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 126) Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm si... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 127) Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, wou... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 128) Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 129) What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 130) Why did the janitor take early retirement? Because he realized that grime doesn't... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 131) Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell p... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 132) "Do you love me more than you love sleep?" "I can't answer now. It's time for my n... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 133) Did you hear about the man who jumped in the Hudson River? He committed sewerci... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 134) What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love? A stupid Cupi... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 135) Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg? Because they're both cracked... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 136) Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician? To get a bit of light relief... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 137) Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 138) What's a cow's favourite love song? When I fall in love , it will be for heifer.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 139) They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 140) What's a cow's favourite love song? When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 141) What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 142) If you need a loan, who do you see in the bank? The Loan Arranger (Lone Ranger).... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 143) Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 144) Do you know the difference between genius and stupid? "Genius has its limits."... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 145) How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 146) What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ? Sister Matic !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 147) Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 148) Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 149) Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 150) Q. Have you heard the latest scandal? A. Dr. Pepper was drunk at a party.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 151) Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 152) What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 153) Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 154) What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? Show me your mussels.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 155) What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art!"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 156) Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong? Because the rest are weekdays.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 157) Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because he held up a pair of pants!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 158) Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid? He was totally bow-gus!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 159) How is a bell obedient? It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 160) Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 161) Q: Why did the clown cross the road? A: To find his rubber chicken.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 162) What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer ? Loo-Loo !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 163) Why did the boxer date the pretty girl? Because she was a knockout!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 164) What did the bell say when it fell in the water? I'm wringing wet.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 165) Q. What do you call a ginger bread man wit one leg? A. Limp biskit... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 166) Why was the banker bored? Because he lost interest in everything.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 167) Why can't you keep secrets in a bank? Because of all the tellers.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 168) What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 169) Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 170) What did one amorous flea say to the other? I love you aw-flea.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 171) Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they need the dough... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 172) What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 173) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 174) Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to? A: Heck... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 175) What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career is in ruins !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 176) What do you call a guard with a hundred legs? A sentrypede.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 177) Which painter always had a very bad cold? Vincent Van Cough... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 178) Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 179) My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 180) Q. What is the bigest pencil in the world? A. Pennsylvania... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 181) What do you call a tube with a degree? A graduated cylinder.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 182) Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 183) Q: What's black, white and read all over? A: A newspaper.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 184) What did one bell say to the other? "Be my valenchime!"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 185) What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 186) Question: What goes up and never comes down? Answer: Up... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 187) Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I "NEED" you!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 188) Who does a ghoul fall in love with? His ghoul friend.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 189) What is the most romantic city in England? Loverpool!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 190) What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ? Lou !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 191) What kind of hair do oceans have? ...Wavy hair.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 192) What do you call an amorous insect? The love bug.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 193) What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 194) What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ? An Ig !... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 195) Where do mermaids go to see movies? ...The dive-in... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 196) Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 197) Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 198) How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You pokemon... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 199) How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. "You're welcome. "... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 200) What runs all day but never gets tired? Water.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 201) What's blue and sings alone? - Dan Ackroyd.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 202) What kind of bell doesn't ring? A dumbbell.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 203) What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
