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The Best Idiot And Fool Jokes: |
| 1) Two men were digging a ditch on a very
hot
day. One said to t... Show more |
| 2) Two newfies walked into a pet
store. The first says "I want f... Show more |
| 3) There were two guys working for the
city. One would dig a hol... Show more |
| 4) A man went into a pet shop to buy a
parrot. He was
shown an e... Show more |
| 5) According to the
Knight-Ridder News
Service, the inscription... Show more |
| 6) Henderson bought a new
car and,
after he left the showroom, d... Show more |
| 7) Mayne and Willard, two idiots, were in
a rowboat on a lake fish... Show more |
| 8) Calvin went to Pearson's Pet Shop to
complain that his canary... Show more |
| 9) Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on
the roof, laying tile... Show more |
| 10) A guy walking down a street one
afternoon passes an old man sit... Show more |
| 11) Did you hear
about the hillbilly who
went into the hardware s... Show more |
| 12) Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham
at a Tus-caloosa
ball... Show more |
| 13) An idiot decided to start a chicken
farm, so he bought a hund... Show more |
| 14) Chaffee
could talk on any subject
whether he knew anything ab... Show more |
| 15) Guidry called in Plotke, the painter,
for an estimate to pain... Show more |
| 16) Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison
electrical repairmen, were
wo... Show more |
| 17) Four Independence boys, Pugh, Sumter,
Kilby and
Grayson, were... Show more |
| 18) Rigby drove into the city with his girl
to catch their first... Show more |
| 19) Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to
cash his check. Since he... Show more |
| 20) Police in
Radnor, Pennsylvania,
interrogated a suspect by pla... Show more |
| 21) Kennen was having a drink in a saloon
when his neighbor,
Stak... Show more |
| 22) My neighbor works in the operations
department in the central... Show more |
| 23) A silly boy
spent the afternoon with some
friends, but when t... Show more |
| 24) Zack and Tybe, two
Alabama farm
boys, bought themselves a tru... Show more |
| 25) Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were
standing one on top of the ot... Show more |
| 26) I
was sitting in my science class,
when the teacher commented... Show more |
| 27) The July temperature in
Joplin
climbed over the one hundred m... Show more |
| 28) I saw a pen in a
store the other
day. I picked it up and took... Show more |
| 29) Fire
investigators on Maui have
determined the cause of a bla... Show more |
| 30) After interviewing a particularly
short-spoken
job candidate,... Show more |
| 31) During a break on a North Dakota office
building project, one... Show more |
| 32) Jim sees his neighbor out back building
a bunker, loading in... Show more |
| 33) Jett was trying to
light a match.
He struck the first one and... Show more |
| 34) Melburn was strolling along downtown
Natchez with a framed pict... Show more |
| 35) Shingles were loose on Pennock's roof,
and
he complained abou... Show more |
| 36) Two men were knocking in nails to
the sides of a house, one o... Show more |
| 37) Police in Oakland, California spent two
hours attempting to s... Show more |
| 38) Swedish
business consultant Ulf af
Trolle labored 11 years on... Show more |
| 39) I live in a semi-rural area. We
recently had a new neighbor c... Show more |
| 40) Kowalski and Janzek left Hamtramack and
went out in the woods l... Show more |
| 41) Titus was on a
Knoxville elevator
with several other people.... Show more |
| 42) When a small Montana village decided to
buy a new fire
truck,... Show more |
| 43) A man in a swimming
pool was on the
very top diving board. He... Show more |
| 44) Young Bradley arrived at his date's
house wearing a shirt that... Show more |
| 45) Delmer: How'd you like the play last
night over at the high
s... Show more |
| 46) The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager
to count to
five. The... Show more |
| 47) An army sergeant told Private Perkins
to go to the end of the... Show more |
| 48) A student in Belle, West Virginia
was suspended for three day... Show more |
| 49) A stupid man was
struggling out of
his house with a big table... Show more |
| 50) A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia
received a one-day sus... Show more |
| 51) An idiotic laborer was told by an
equally idiotic foreman to... Show more |
| 52) Holton
sat down in a Green Bay
restaurant and said to the wai... Show more |
| 53) An Illinois man pretending to have a
gun kidnapped a motorist... Show more |
| 54) QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take
his bedroom door off the... Show more |
| 55) Tyfus applied for a job in a factory.
The company doctor wh... Show more |
| 56) Housekeeper: Professor, there's a bill
collector at the door.... Show more |
| 57) A boy went into the local department
store where he saw a sig... Show more |
| 58) Did you hear about the Murfreesboro
muddlebrain whose father... Show more |
| 59) Slim walked into his local post office
and noticed a new sign... Show more |
| 60) My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and
ordered a taco. She... Show more |
| 61) IRS Agent: What's all this? Bracken:
Well, you told me to bri... Show more |
| 62) Doctor: That deafness cure help your
brother?
Archie: Sure di... Show more |
| 63) Did you hear about the Oklahoma
idiot who married an American... Show more |
| 64) Did you hear about the dimwit who went
to visit his
girlfrien... Show more |
| 65) "How come you're only
watering
half your lawn?" a perplexed t... Show more |
| 66) Did you hear about the Omaha mother who
got tired of putting... Show more |
| 67) A stupid glazier was examining a broken
window. He looked at... Show more |
| 68) Did you hear about the dumb
father
who returned from lunch an... Show more |
| 69) And then there was the Newfie who was
found dead in his jail... Show more |
| 70) Treadwell walked into a Biloxi
stationery store and
asked, "H... Show more |
| 71) One idiot said to the other, "You
know, there are really only... Show more |
| 72) Did you hear about the idiot who filled
out an employment
app... Show more |
| 73) Iraq has just ordered two
thousand
septic tanks from Russia.... Show more |
| 74) Did you hear about the Irishman who
tried to swim the English... Show more |
| 75) Fred: Did you hear about the Irish
window
cleaner who put a s... Show more |
| 76) Did you hear about the rookie Rhode
Island cop who gave out
t... Show more |
| 77) Carmella and Mario were out on their
first date. "Have you ev... Show more |
| 78) Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in
the whole school.
Moth... Show more |
| 79) Did you hear about the
Baton Rouge
bride who cancelled the we... Show more |
| 80) Did you hear about the
Iranian
terrorist who switched off the... Show more |
| 81) "What did Shawn
like most about his
trip to Paris?" "He said... Show more |
| 82) Did you hear about the guy
from
Newfoundland who was twenty-t... Show more |
| 83) Did you hear about the hillbilly who
asked his friends to giv... Show more |
| 84) Personnel Director: What would you do
if you broke your arm i... Show more |
| 85) An Irishman saw a notice outside a
police station which read: M... Show more |
| 86) Did
you hear about the Puerto Rican
secretary who was getting... Show more |
| 87) Did you hear
about the idiot who
made his chickens drink boil... Show more |
| 88) I can't understand the critics
saying that only an idiot woul... Show more |
| 89) Then there was the Puerto
Rican
surgeon who made medical hist... Show more |
| 90) Did you hear about
the Brooklyn
bubblebrain who was two hours... Show more |
| 91) Why did the idiot drive his pickup
truck over the side of the c... Show more |
| 92) Q: How many idiots who ask stupid
questions does it take to s... Show more |
| 93) Did you hear about the Finn who
spent a fortune building a st... Show more |
| 94) Why did the Aggie call 911 in the
car wash?
- He thought... Show more |
| 95) Why did Rudolfo salute the box of
Cornflakes in the
supermark... Show more |
| 96) Did you hear about the idiot who
planted Cheerios in his back... Show more |
| 97) Did you hear about the dumb father who
got up and struck a
ma... Show more |
| 98) Sister: Why are you putting
the
saddle on backward ? Brother:... Show more |
| 99) Did you hear about the Mexican
bricklayer who went crazy tryi... Show more |
| 100) Did you hear about the stupid
photographer?
He saved burned... Show more |
| 101) Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid?
Jessie: Well, it ain'... Show more |
| 102) "Say, your house is
burning."
"That's okay. I got enough lumbe... Show more |
| 103) She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter
is a very strong person... Show more |
| 104) What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an... Show more |
| 105) My
friend is so stupid he thinks
that an autograph is a chart... Show more |
| 106) Did you hear
about the dimwit who
was so dumb he thought Gato... Show more |
| 107) Why can't the Philippines field an ice
hockey team? The players... Show more |
| 108) Did you hear about the village idiot
buying bird seed?
He s... Show more |
| 109) Why are Canadians given only a half
hour for lunch?
They do... Show more |
| 110) Fred: Do you think I'm a fool?
Harry: No. But what's my opini... Show more |
| 111) Did you
hear about the Texan who
moved to Oklahoma and raised... Show more |
| 112) How does an idiot call for his dog?
He puts two fingers in hi... Show more |
| 113) My friend is so silly that he spent two
weeks in a
revolving... Show more |
| 114) Did you hear about the Montana moron
who went looking for a
g... Show more |
| 115) Q: Have you heard about the Irish
abortion
clinic?
A: There... Show more |
| 116) Did
you hear about the fool who
keeps going round saying "no"... Show more |
| 117) Did you hear about the stupid wizard?
He couldn't remember if... Show more |
| 118) The Albanian planted lightbulbs in
his garden.
He heard tha... Show more |
| 119) Did you hear about the Georgia
accountant who absconded with... Show more |
| 120) How do you keep an imbecile
happy
all his life ?
Tell him a... Show more |
| 121) Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish
people that drowned?
A:... Show more |
| 122) Why does the Philippines ban rectal
thermometers?
They cause... Show more |
| 123) Why did the idiot plant nickels in his
garden?
He wanted to r... Show more |
| 124) Why did the idiot have his sundial
floodlit ?
So he could tell... Show more |
| 125) Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away
?
Because it had a h... Show more |
| 126) How do you confuse an idiot?
Give
him two spades and ask him... Show more |
| 127) Loomis: Does your dog have a license?
Fenton: Hell, no! I do al... Show more |
| 128) What has
eight legs and an IQ of
forty? Four guys watching a... Show more |
| 129) I don't know
what it is that makes
you stupid but whatever it... Show more |
| 130) How do Filipinos count money?
One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a,... Show more |
| 131) Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle
neck sweater?
To hide his... Show more |
| 132) Did you hear
about the stupid
water-polo player?
His horse d... Show more |
| 133) He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is
someone who keeps track of... Show more |
| 134) What do you call an alien
starship
that drips water?
A cryi... Show more |
| 135) Did you hear about the idiot
who
invented the one-piece jigsa... Show more |
| 136) What do you get when you cross an idiot
with a watch?
A cucko... Show more |
| 137) "Can you read Chinese?" "Yes, but only
when it's printed in
E... Show more |
| 138) Did you hear about the stupid
Kamikaze pilot ?
He flew 57 mi... Show more |
| 139) How does a Russian Aeroflot
pilot
navigate? By reading street... Show more |
| 140) "Why do rednecks act like
such
morons?'' "Who says they're ac... Show more |
| 141) Did you hear about
the stupid
woodworm?
He was found in a b... Show more |
| 142) My friend is so stupid that he
thinks twice before saying not... Show more |
| 143) Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look!
Folsom: You couldn't
be!... Show more |
| 144) What did the stupid ghost do?
He
used to climb over walls.... Show more |
| 145) How do Alaska CB radio operators say
"10-4"?
"5-5-2-2."... Show more |
| 146) What did the idiot do to the flea in
his ear?
Shot it!... Show more |
| 147) What do you call a stupid skeleton?
Bonehead.... Show more |
| 148) What do Filipinos call
Canada?
Upper U.S.... Show more |
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