1 - What do builders use to make
Com.crete.... More ››
2 - Q: How many internet mail list subscribers
does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five... More ››
3 - Teacher: Why are you pushing
the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off... More ››
4 - Teacher: What are the four
Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet.
Teacher: What d... More ››
5 - Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting
round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and use... More ››
6 - I hope you're not one of those
who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise... More ››
7 - Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet
if you have trouble with your homework questions.
P... More ››
8 - I never thought that the Internet was very
useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope you... More ››
9 - I use the internet
to tell me what the
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop o... More ››
10 - So what exactly can I learn on the
Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk li... More ››
11 - My dog likes to sit down each evening and
What an intelligent animal!
Not really... More ››
12 - I spent the whole evening
Don't you mean netsurfing?
No, everyone was complaining b... More ››
13 - What do you call someone who spends 24 hours
a day on the Internet?
Anything you like, they're no... More ››
14 - Why couldn't the baby camel
Because whenever his parents saw their phone bil... More ››
15 - PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball
straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to p... More ››
16 - What did the sausage say when it
couldn't log on to the Internet?
If at first you don't succeed... More ››
17 - Can you show me how to
I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round... More ››
18 - What happened when the schoool bully went
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the footba... More ››
19 - Does your mum like shopping on the
No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the com... More ››
20 - If doors
have a website shouldn't
windows have one too?
We'd better, or it will be curtains for... More ››
21 - Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet
on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a compu... More ››
22 - I
see you've got your bill for using the
Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hum... More ››
23 - Did you know pillows
have their own
Really? Well you could knock me down with a feathe... More ››
24 - What do you get if you type
www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
A sore finge... More ››
25 - Our website should have more colour, more
games, more sound!
Look, what more do you want? Blood... More ››
26 - What do you get if you cross an elephant with
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.... More ››
27 - Do you want some help using the Internet,
No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.... More ››
28 - I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on
Yes - and it's a mammoth task!... More ››
29 - What did you say to the policeman who spent
eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest.... More ››
30 - What's O. J. Simpson's Internet
Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.... More ››
31 - What did the maths homework website say to
Boy do we have problems.... More ››
32 - What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the
Net when there's a full moon?
The www.erewolf.... More ››
33 - Have you seen www.pitchdark.com?
I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.... More ››
34 - Since you've discovered the Internet, you
don't pay any attention to
Who said that?... More ››
35 - Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the
Because they can't stop saving their work.... More ››
36 - Which of the seven dwarfs use the
Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.... More ››
37 - I can't find a shark website....
cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumb......... More ››
38 - Have you heard that there's a new
Really? I must take a peak at it!... More ››
39 - What did the parrot say when he was using the
P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.... More ››
40 - Do you like
surfing the net?
I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)... More ››
41 - Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road
The www.izard of Oz.... More ››
42 - Why do you think your report should be on the
Because my marks are all 'E's.... More ››
43 - Why did the mummy stop using the
He was getting far too wrapped up in it.... More ››
44 - Have you got the address of the butter
Yes, but don't spread it around.... More ››
45 - Why do you keep going back to that fishing
I can't help it, I'm hooked.... More ››
46 - You need to log on to the window repair
I did - but it gave me a pane!... More ››
47 - Does your dog know how how to
No - but he's got a ruff idea.... More ››
48 - Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com?
I found it very difficult to get into.... More ››
49 - Have you seen
Yes, but it doesn't really stand out.... More ››
50 - Have you seen
Yes, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.... More ››
51 - Why was Cinderella able to surf the
Because he footman turned into a mouse.... More ››
52 - What do you get if you cross the Internet
Spotted click... More ››
53 - Why are elephants no good at Net
Because they're scared of the mouse.... More ››
54 - Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the
Well, you do look a site... More ››
55 - Why do beavers spend a
fortune on the
They never want to log off.... More ››
56 - What do you get if you cross a giant ship
The Site-anic.... More ››
57 - What did the hypnotist say when
his own website....
Hyp, Hyp Hooray.... More ››
58 - Do you enjoy websurfing?
No way! my mum
warned me to stay away from the net!... More ››
59 - How did the flea learn to use the
He had to start from scratch.... More ››
60 - What surfs the
Internet and goes, 'Choo,
Thomas the Search Engine.... More ››
61 - Why are frogs no good at
Computers have them toad-ily confused.... More ››
62 - What sits in the middle of the world wide web
A very, very big spider !... More ››
63 - Have you seen www.quasimodo.com?
sure, but certainly rings a bell.... More ››
64 - You're a big internet fan, arn't
Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!... More ››
65 - Have you seen www.veryangry.com?
STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!... More ››
66 - Have you seen
Yes, but it took ages to find.... More ››
67 - Have you seen www.apathy.com?
quite honestly I can't be bothered.... More ››
68 - Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the
Click Whittington... More ››
69 - Why was the skeleton using the
To bone up on his schoolwork.... More ››
70 - Have you seen www.topsecret.com?
have, I'm not going to tell you.... More ››
71 - Have you seen
but I didn't find it striking.... More ››
72 - Have you seen
Yes, I found it very absorbing.... More ››
73 - Have you seen www.boomerang .com?
return to it again and again.... More ››
74 - Who surfs the Net by pecking at the
www.oody www.oodpecker.... More ››
75 - How do you
find white shirts on the
Use a starch engine.... More ››
76 - You're a big Internet fan aren't
Yes - it's becoming a habit!... More ››
77 - Have you seen
Yes, its's no great shakes!... More ››
78 - Have you seen www.busfull.com?
afraid that one passed me by.... More ››
79 - How do you make rude noises on the
With a whoop e-cushion.... More ››
80 - What did Darth Vader say to the
May the force e-with you.... More ››
81 - Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com?
I'll ketchup with it later.... More ››
82 - Have you seen
but it hasn't sunk in yet.... More ››
83 - What has long ears, hops and likes
The e-aster bunny.... More ››
84 - Have you seen www.stickytape.com?
can't tear myself away.... More ››
85 - How does the vicar explore the
With the church mouse.... More ››
86 - Did you like www.flower.com?
first....but it grew on me!... More ››
87 - Have you seen www.dustbin.com?
it's a load of rubbish.... More ››
88 - Who is the most popular
wizard on the
Har e-potter.... More ››
89 - How are you getting on
Surf far, so good.... More ››
90 - What do you call a fire at the Internet
An e-mergency.... More ››
91 - Who writes all his plays on the
Will-e. Shakespeare.... More ››
92 - What do internet football fans sing?
go E we go, E we go!... More ››
93 - What's the best city to search the
Wide Web in?
Rome.... More ››
94 - Who writes hit musicals on the
Andrew Lloyd Webber.... More ››
95 - Have you seen www.square.com?
haven't got around to it.... More ››
96 - Have you seen www.hook.com?
already caught my eye.... More ››
97 - Have you seen www.amnesia.com?
just can't remember.... More ››
98 - How do heavy
metal bands surf the
On the Din-ternet.... More ››
99 - Have you seen www.yawn.com?
Yes, but I'm
a bit tired of it.... More ››
100 - Have you seen www.tame.com?
Yes, but I'm
not wild about it.... More ››
101 - What goes round the middle of
The e-quator.... More ››
102 - What kind of doctor fixes broken
A URLologist.... More ››
103 - What grows on the World Wide Web and
Internettles.... More ››
104 - Who has the best website in the
The Onlion King.... More ››
105 - Who is the oldest singer on the
Click Jagger.... More ››
106 - Who runs the 100 acre wood
www.innie the pooh.... More ››
107 - What do you put in a www.ashing
Net curtains!... More ››
108 - What did you think of our website?
little bit tacky.... More ››
109 - What do you call an alien surfing
e-t.... More ››
110 - Where does
the Internet football team
Webley.... More ››
111 - Where's Spiderman's home page?
world wide web.... More ››
112 - Who looks after the EuroDisney
Mick e-mouse.... More ››
113 - Who started the campfire website?
bright spark.... More ››
114 - How do you fix a broken website?
stick e-tape.... More ››
115 - Where is Pinocchio's website?
splinternet.... More ››
116 - What do you call a ghost on the
e-erie.... More ››
117 - What do you call an Internet mystery?
e-nigma.... More ››
118 - Do you like web jokes?
Yes - they're
e-larious!... More ››
119 - Have you seen www.indecisive.com?
no.... More ››
120 - How do nuns surf the web? On the
Hymnternet.... More ››
121 - Who's the chief of the
E-ronimo!... More ››