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INTERNET JOKES!

internet JOKES (random)

What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? An e-mergency.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY internet JOKES:

 1 - What do builders use to make websites? Com.crete.... More ››
 2 - What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp, Hyp Hooray.... More ››
 3 - Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five... More ››
 4 - Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: To keep vampires off... More ››
 5 - Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet. Teacher: What d... More ››
 6 - Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and use... More ››
 7 - I hope you're not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise... More ››
 8 - Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions. P... More ››
 9 - I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope you... More ››
 10 - I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop o... More ››
 11 - So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk li... More ››
 12 - My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really... More ››
 13 - I spent the whole evening knotsurfing! Don't you mean netsurfing? No, everyone was complaining b... More ››
 14 - What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like, they're no... More ››
 15 - Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet? Because whenever his parents saw their phone bil... More ››
 16 - PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to p... More ››
 17 - What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet? If at first you don't succeed... More ››
 18 - Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round... More ››
 19 - What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked him out of the footba... More ››
 20 - Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the com... More ››
 21 - If doors have a website shouldn't windows have one too? We'd better, or it will be curtains for... More ››
 22 - Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a compu... More ››
 23 - I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hum... More ››
 24 - Did you know pillows have their own website? Really? Well you could knock me down with a feathe... More ››
 25 - What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer? A sore finge... More ››
 26 - Our website should have more colour, more games, more sound! Look, what more do you want? Blood... More ››
 27 - What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet? I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.... More ››
 28 - Do you want some help using the Internet, son? No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.... More ››
 29 - I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet... Yes - and it's a mammoth task!... More ››
 30 - What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet? Oh give it arrest.... More ››
 31 - What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.... More ››
 32 - What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website? Boy do we have problems.... More ››
 33 - What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the Net when there's a full moon? The www.erewolf.... More ››
 34 - Have you seen www.pitchdark.com? Yes, but I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.... More ››
 35 - Since you've discovered the Internet, you don't pay any attention to me! Who said that?... More ››
 36 - Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving their work.... More ››
 37 - Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.... More ››
 38 - I can't find a shark website.... That's cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumb......... More ››
 39 - Have you heard that there's a new mountain website? Really? I must take a peak at it!... More ››
 40 - What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet? P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.... More ››
 41 - Do you like surfing the net? Oh yes, I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)... More ››
 42 - Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net? The www.izard of Oz.... More ››
 43 - Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's.... More ››
 44 - Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it.... More ››
 45 - Have you got the address of the butter website? Yes, but don't spread it around.... More ››
 46 - Why do you keep going back to that fishing website? I can't help it, I'm hooked.... More ››
 47 - You need to log on to the window repair website! I did - but it gave me a pane!... More ››
 48 - Does your dog know how how to surf the internet? No - but he's got a ruff idea.... More ››
 49 - Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes, but I found it very difficult to get into.... More ››
 50 - Have you seen www.shelterfromtherain.com? Yes, but it doesn't really stand out.... More ››
 51 - Have you seen www.brokenglass.com? Yes, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.... More ››
 52 - Why was Cinderella able to surf the web? Because he footman turned into a mouse.... More ››
 53 - What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click... More ››
 54 - Why are elephants no good at Net surfing? Because they're scared of the mouse.... More ››
 55 - Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well, you do look a site... More ››
 56 - Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? They never want to log off.... More ››
 57 - What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet? The Site-anic.... More ››
 58 - Do you enjoy websurfing? No way! my mum warned me to stay away from the net!... More ››
 59 - How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch.... More ››
 60 - What surfs the Internet and goes, 'Choo, Choo'? Thomas the Search Engine.... More ››
 61 - Why are frogs no good at websurfing? Computers have them toad-ily confused.... More ››
 62 - What sits in the middle of the world wide web ? A very, very big spider !... More ››
 63 - Have you seen www.quasimodo.com? I'm not sure, but certainly rings a bell.... More ››
 64 - You're a big internet fan, arn't you? Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!... More ››
 65 - Have you seen www.veryangry.com? No, AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!... More ››
 66 - Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes, but it took ages to find.... More ››
 67 - Have you seen www.apathy.com? No, and quite honestly I can't be bothered.... More ››
 68 - Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet? Click Whittington... More ››
 69 - Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork.... More ››
 70 - Have you seen www.topsecret.com? If I have, I'm not going to tell you.... More ››
 71 - Have you seen www.usedmatch.com? Yes, but I didn't find it striking.... More ››
 72 - Have you seen www.blottingpaper.com? Yes, I found it very absorbing.... More ››
 73 - Have you seen www.boomerang .com? Yes, I return to it again and again.... More ››
 74 - Who surfs the Net by pecking at the keyboard? www.oody www.oodpecker.... More ››
 75 - How do you find white shirts on the Internet? Use a starch engine.... More ››
 76 - You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!... More ››
 77 - Have you seen www.smallearthquake.com? Yes, its's no great shakes!... More ››
 78 - Have you seen www.busfull.com? No, I'm afraid that one passed me by.... More ››
 79 - How do you make rude noises on the Internet? With a whoop e-cushion.... More ››
 80 - What did Darth Vader say to the Internet? May the force e-with you.... More ››
 81 - Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No, I'll ketchup with it later.... More ››
 82 - Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes, but it hasn't sunk in yet.... More ››
 83 - What has long ears, hops and likes websurfing? The e-aster bunny.... More ››
 84 - Have you seen www.stickytape.com? Yes, I can't tear myself away.... More ››
 85 - How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse.... More ››
 86 - Did you like www.flower.com? Not at first....but it grew on me!... More ››
 87 - Have you seen www.dustbin.com? Yes, but it's a load of rubbish.... More ››
 88 - Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter.... More ››
 89 - How are you getting on with the Internet? Surf far, so good.... More ››
 90 - What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? An e-mergency.... More ››
 91 - Who writes all his plays on the Internet? Will-e. Shakespeare.... More ››
 92 - What do internet football fans sing? E we go E we go, E we go!... More ››
 93 - What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in? Rome.... More ››
 94 - Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber.... More ››
 95 - Have you seen www.square.com? No, I haven't got around to it.... More ››
 96 - Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes, it's already caught my eye.... More ››
 97 - Have you seen www.amnesia.com? Sorry, I just can't remember.... More ››
 98 - How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet.... More ››
 99 - Have you seen www.yawn.com? Yes, but I'm a bit tired of it.... More ››
 100 - Have you seen www.tame.com? Yes, but I'm not wild about it.... More ››
 101 - What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e-quator.... More ››
 102 - What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.... More ››
 103 - What grows on the World Wide Web and stings? Internettles.... More ››
 104 - Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King.... More ››
 105 - Who is the oldest singer on the Internet? Click Jagger.... More ››
 106 - Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www.innie the pooh.... More ››
 107 - What do you put in a www.ashing machine? Net curtains!... More ››
 108 - What did you think of our website? A little bit tacky.... More ››
 109 - What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.... More ››
 110 - Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.... More ››
 111 - Where's Spiderman's home page? On the world wide web.... More ››
 112 - Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse.... More ››
 113 - Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark.... More ››
 114 - How do you fix a broken website? With stick e-tape.... More ››
 115 - Where is Pinocchio's website? On the splinternet.... More ››
 116 - What do you call a ghost on the Internet? e-erie.... More ››
 117 - What do you call an Internet mystery? An e-nigma.... More ››
 118 - Do you like web jokes? Yes - they're e-larious!... More ››
 119 - Have you seen www.indecisive.com? Yes and no.... More ››
 120 - How do nuns surf the web? On the Hymnternet.... More ››
 121 - Who's the chief of the internet? E-ronimo!... More ››
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