1 - What do builders use to make
websites?
Com.crete.... More ›› 2 - What did the hypnotist say when
he got
his own website....
Hyp, Hyp Hooray.... More ›› 3 - Q: How many internet mail list subscribers
does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five... More ›› 4 - Teacher: Why are you pushing
garlic into
the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off... More ›› 5 - Teacher: What are the four
elements?
Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet.
Teacher: What d... More ›› 6 - Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting
round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and use... More ›› 7 - I hope you're not one of those
pupils
who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise... More ›› 8 - Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet
if you have trouble with your homework questions.
P... More ›› 9 - I never thought that the Internet was very
useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope you... More ›› 10 - I use the internet
to tell me what the
weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop o... More ›› 11 - So what exactly can I learn on the
Internet?
Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk li... More ›› 12 - My dog likes to sit down each evening and
surf the
Net.
What an intelligent animal!
Not really... More ›› 13 - I spent the whole evening
knotsurfing!
Don't you mean netsurfing?
No, everyone was complaining b... More ›› 14 - What do you call someone who spends 24 hours
a day on the Internet?
Anything you like, they're no... More ›› 15 - Why couldn't the baby camel
surf the
Internet?
Because whenever his parents saw their phone bil... More ›› 16 - PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball
straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to p... More ›› 17 - What did the sausage say when it
couldn't log on to the Internet?
If at first you don't succeed... More ›› 18 - Can you show me how to
use the
Internet?
I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round... More ›› 19 - What happened when the schoool bully went
netsurfing?
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the footba... More ›› 20 - Does your mum like shopping on the
Internet?
No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the com... More ›› 21 - If doors
have a website shouldn't
windows have one too?
We'd better, or it will be curtains for... More ›› 22 - Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet
on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a compu... More ›› 23 - I
see you've got your bill for using the
Internet
Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hum... More ›› 24 - Did you know pillows
have their own
website?
Really? Well you could knock me down with a feathe... More ›› 25 - What do you get if you type
www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
A sore finge... More ›› 26 - Our website should have more colour, more
games, more sound!
Look, what more do you want? Blood... More ›› 27 - What do you get if you cross an elephant with
the
Internet?
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.... More ›› 28 - Do you want some help using the Internet,
son?
No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.... More ›› 29 - I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on
the internet...
Yes - and it's a mammoth task!... More ›› 30 - What did you say to the policeman who spent
eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest.... More ›› 31 - What's O. J. Simpson's Internet
address?
Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.... More ›› 32 - What did the maths homework website say to
the
geometry website?
Boy do we have problems.... More ›› 33 - What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the
Net when there's a full moon?
The www.erewolf.... More ›› 34 - Have you seen www.pitchdark.com?
Yes, but
I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.... More ›› 35 - Since you've discovered the Internet, you
don't pay any attention to
me!
Who said that?... More ›› 36 - Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the
Internet?
Because they can't stop saving their work.... More ›› 37 - Which of the seven dwarfs use the
Internet?
Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.... More ›› 38 - I can't find a shark website....
That's
cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumb......... More ›› 39 - Have you heard that there's a new
mountain website?
Really? I must take a peak at it!... More ›› 40 - What did the parrot say when he was using the
Internet?
P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.... More ›› 41 - Do you like
surfing the net?
Oh yes,
I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)... More ›› 42 - Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road
surfing
the Net?
The www.izard of Oz.... More ›› 43 - Why do you think your report should be on the
net?
Because my marks are all 'E's.... More ›› 44 - Why did the mummy stop using the
Internet?
He was getting far too wrapped up in it.... More ›› 45 - Have you got the address of the butter
website?
Yes, but don't spread it around.... More ›› 46 - Why do you keep going back to that fishing
website?
I can't help it, I'm hooked.... More ›› 47 - You need to log on to the window repair
website!
I did - but it gave me a pane!... More ›› 48 - Does your dog know how how to
surf the
internet?
No - but he's got a ruff idea.... More ›› 49 - Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com?
Yes, but
I found it very difficult to get into.... More ›› 50 - Have you seen
www.shelterfromtherain.com?
Yes, but it doesn't really stand out.... More ›› 51 - Have you seen
www.brokenglass.com?
Yes, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.... More ›› 52 - Why was Cinderella able to surf the
web?
Because he footman turned into a mouse.... More ›› 53 - What do you get if you cross the Internet
with a
currant bread?
Spotted click... More ›› 54 - Why are elephants no good at Net
surfing?
Because they're scared of the mouse.... More ›› 55 - Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the
Internet!
Well, you do look a site... More ›› 56 - Why do beavers spend a
fortune on the
Internet?
They never want to log off.... More ›› 57 - What do you get if you cross a giant ship
with the
Internet?
The Site-anic.... More ›› 58 - Do you enjoy websurfing?
No way! my mum
warned me to stay away from the net!... More ›› 59 - How did the flea learn to use the
internet?
He had to start from scratch.... More ›› 60 - What surfs the
Internet and goes, 'Choo,
Choo'?
Thomas the Search Engine.... More ›› 61 - Why are frogs no good at
websurfing?
Computers have them toad-ily confused.... More ›› 62 - What sits in the middle of the world wide web
?
A very, very big spider !... More ›› 63 - Have you seen www.quasimodo.com?
I'm not
sure, but certainly rings a bell.... More ›› 64 - You're a big internet fan, arn't
you?
Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!... More ›› 65 - Have you seen www.veryangry.com?
No, AND
STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!... More ›› 66 - Have you seen
www.needleinahaystack.com?
Yes, but it took ages to find.... More ›› 67 - Have you seen www.apathy.com?
No, and
quite honestly I can't be bothered.... More ›› 68 - Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the
Internet?
Click Whittington... More ›› 69 - Why was the skeleton using the
Internet?
To bone up on his schoolwork.... More ›› 70 - Have you seen www.topsecret.com?
If I
have, I'm not going to tell you.... More ›› 71 - Have you seen
www.usedmatch.com?
Yes,
but I didn't find it striking.... More ›› 72 - Have you seen
www.blottingpaper.com?
Yes, I found it very absorbing.... More ›› 73 - Have you seen www.boomerang .com?
Yes, I
return to it again and again.... More ›› 74 - Who surfs the Net by pecking at the
keyboard?
www.oody www.oodpecker.... More ›› 75 - How do you
find white shirts on the
Internet?
Use a starch engine.... More ›› 76 - You're a big Internet fan aren't
you?
Yes - it's becoming a habit!... More ›› 77 - Have you seen
www.smallearthquake.com?
Yes, its's no great shakes!... More ›› 78 - Have you seen www.busfull.com?
No, I'm
afraid that one passed me by.... More ›› 79 - How do you make rude noises on the
Internet?
With a whoop e-cushion.... More ›› 80 - What did Darth Vader say to the
Internet?
May the force e-with you.... More ›› 81 - Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com?
No,
I'll ketchup with it later.... More ›› 82 - Have you seen
www.quicksand.com?
Yes,
but it hasn't sunk in yet.... More ›› 83 - What has long ears, hops and likes
websurfing?
The e-aster bunny.... More ›› 84 - Have you seen www.stickytape.com?
Yes, I
can't tear myself away.... More ›› 85 - How does the vicar explore the
Internet?
With the church mouse.... More ›› 86 - Did you like www.flower.com?
Not at
first....but it grew on me!... More ›› 87 - Have you seen www.dustbin.com?
Yes, but
it's a load of rubbish.... More ›› 88 - Who is the most popular
wizard on the
Internet?
Har e-potter.... More ›› 89 - How are you getting on
with the
Internet?
Surf far, so good.... More ›› 90 - What do you call a fire at the Internet
cafe?
An e-mergency.... More ›› 91 - Who writes all his plays on the
Internet?
Will-e. Shakespeare.... More ›› 92 - What do internet football fans sing?
E we
go E we go, E we go!... More ›› 93 - What's the best city to search the
World
Wide Web in?
Rome.... More ›› 94 - Who writes hit musicals on the
Internet?
Andrew Lloyd Webber.... More ›› 95 - Have you seen www.square.com?
No, I
haven't got around to it.... More ›› 96 - Have you seen www.hook.com?
Yes, it's
already caught my eye.... More ›› 97 - Have you seen www.amnesia.com?
Sorry, I
just can't remember.... More ›› 98 - How do heavy
metal bands surf the
web?
On the Din-ternet.... More ›› 99 - Have you seen www.yawn.com?
Yes, but I'm
a bit tired of it.... More ›› 100 - Have you seen www.tame.com?
Yes, but I'm
not wild about it.... More ›› 101 - What goes round the middle of
the
Internet?
The e-quator.... More ›› 102 - What kind of doctor fixes broken
websites?
A URLologist.... More ›› 103 - What grows on the World Wide Web and
stings?
Internettles.... More ›› 104 - Who has the best website in the
jungle?
The Onlion King.... More ›› 105 - Who is the oldest singer on the
Internet?
Click Jagger.... More ›› 106 - Who runs the 100 acre wood
website?
www.innie the pooh.... More ›› 107 - What do you put in a www.ashing
machine?
Net curtains!... More ›› 108 - What did you think of our website?
A
little bit tacky.... More ›› 109 - What do you call an alien surfing
the
Internet?
e-t.... More ›› 110 - Where does
the Internet football team
play?
Webley.... More ›› 111 - Where's Spiderman's home page?
On the
world wide web.... More ›› 112 - Who looks after the EuroDisney
website?
Mick e-mouse.... More ›› 113 - Who started the campfire website?
Some
bright spark.... More ›› 114 - How do you fix a broken website?
With
stick e-tape.... More ›› 115 - Where is Pinocchio's website?
On the
splinternet.... More ›› 116 - What do you call a ghost on the
Internet?
e-erie.... More ›› 117 - What do you call an Internet mystery?
An
e-nigma.... More ›› 118 - Do you like web jokes?
Yes - they're
e-larious!... More ›› 119 - Have you seen www.indecisive.com?
Yes and
no.... More ›› 120 - How do nuns surf the web? On the
Hymnternet.... More ›› 121 - Who's the chief of the
internet?
E-ronimo!... More ›› |
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