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JUDGE JOKES!

judge JOKES (random)

The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "Now what do you say to defend yourself?" "Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY judge JOKES:

 1 - A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations.... More ››
 2 - How many judges does it take to change a light bulb? Just one; he holds it still and the whole... More ››
 3 - Who is the most powerful ghoul? Judge Dread.... More ››
 4 - A young woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. The charges were read o... More ››
 5 - When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolte... More ››
 6 - Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or... More ››
 7 - It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car... More ››
 8 - A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with... More ››
 9 - A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with... More ››
 10 - At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, "State your name... More ››
 11 - The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So h... More ››
 12 - The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the tru... More ››
 13 - Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't wan... More ››
 14 - Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milep... More ››
 15 - The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I... More ››
 16 - Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the... More ››
 17 - Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?" Defendant: "Yes, it's true."... More ››
 18 - The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!" "Why... More ››
 19 - Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money." Gl... More ››
 20 - Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What... More ››
 21 - Judge: Are you married? A. No, I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divo... More ››
 22 - Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: A... More ››
 23 - Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she you... More ››
 24 - Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death? A: Yes, by death. Judge: And by whose deat... More ››
 25 - Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decis... More ››
 26 - Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on... More ››
 27 - What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom? Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!... More ››
 28 - The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."... More ››
 29 - People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.... More ››
 30 - When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.... More ››
 31 - How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.... More ››
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