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LAWYER JOKES!

lawyer JOKES (random)

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!" He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door." "Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client didn't!"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES:

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 6 - A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no c... More ››
 7 - A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most suc... More ››
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 13 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››
 14 - At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Did you know that... More ››
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 19 - A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's... More ››
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 22 - The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating sh... More ››
 23 - A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up... More ››
 24 - "How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles... More ››
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 26 - "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sn... More ››
 27 - Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear"? It's about a deranged psychotic who i... More ››
 28 - Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?" Cl... More ››
 29 - Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?... More ››
 30 - You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bulle... More ››
 31 - Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? P... More ››
 32 - A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The... More ››
 33 - A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The... More ››
 34 - If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator, then... Hey, come to... More ››
 35 - What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You should take your workboots off... More ››
 36 - If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you... More ››
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 38 - First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second person: No. First... More ››
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 40 - If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you read the paper or... More ››
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 42 - Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicyc... More ››
 43 - What is the proper weight for a lawyer? About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!... More ››
 44 - If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?... More ››
 45 - Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances.... More ››
 46 - Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.... More ››
 47 - If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer's.... More ››
 48 - Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek? Nobody will look for them.... More ››
 49 - How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.... More ››
 50 - How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.... More ››
 51 - What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.... More ››
 52 - Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.... More ››
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