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The Best Lawyer Jokes: |
| 1) A defendant was
on trial for murder. There
was very strong ev... Show more |
| 2) A local United Way office realized that it had
never
received... Show more |
| 3) A
judge in a small city was hearing a
drunk-driving case and... Show more |
| 4) The bartender asks him
"What'll you have?".
The guy answers,... Show more |
| 5) It seems that a devout, good couple was about
to get married,... Show more |
| 6) An old man was critically
ill. Feeling that
death was near, h... Show more |
| 7) A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend
asked the
tombsto... Show more |
| 8) A guy walks into a post office one day
to
see a middle-aged,... Show more |
| 9) At a
convention of biological scientists
one researcher remar... Show more |
| 10) A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man,
and a
lawyer wer... Show more |
| 11) A person is in the hospital and asked his
doctor how much time... Show more |
| 12) A
persistent job-seeker once appeared
before President Lincol... Show more |
| 13) A man walks into a friend and sees that his
friend's car
is... Show more |
| 14) A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the
headlights
brok... Show more |
| 15) In the construction
field, it is often
noted that lawyers mak... Show more |
| 16) "Excuse me," a young fellow said to
an
older librarian, "I've... Show more |
| 17) The first lawyer questioning a panel of
prospective jurors be... Show more |
| 18) A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with
his family. Sudde... Show more |
| 19) "How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to
her lawyer, aft... Show more |
| 20) Why is
it that if you give a child an
encyclopedia, "lawyer"... Show more |
| 21) "You seem to have more than the average
share of intelligence... Show more |
| 22) A convicted con man was recently found to be
impersonating a... Show more |
| 23) Have you seen the current remake of the movie
"Cape Fear"? It... Show more |
| 24) Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted,
will you tell me t... Show more |
| 25) Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to
walk
onto a construction... Show more |
| 26) You're trapped in a room with a tiger,
a
rattlesnake and a la... Show more |
| 27) Did you hear that the Post Office had to
recall its series of... Show more |
| 28) A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor.
"Which side is i... Show more |
| 29) A lawyer with insomnia consulted
her doctor.
"Which side is i... Show more |
| 30) If you laid all the lawyers in the world head
to foot around... Show more |
| 31) What's the difference between a lawyer
and
a
trampoline?... Show more |
| 32) If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both
drowning, and
you coul... Show more |
| 33) Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic
waste dumps and C... Show more |
| 34) First person: Do you know how to
save five
lawyers who are dr... Show more |
| 35) Why don't lawyers enjoy playing
golf?
Because it's too much li... Show more |
| 36) Why
didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the
lawyer's heart?
Bec... Show more |
| 37) If two lawyers were drowning,
and you could
only save one of... Show more |
| 38) How many lawyers does it take to
change a
lightbulb?
None, t... Show more |
| 39) Lawyer: "Let me
give you my honest
opinion."
Client: "No... Show more |
| 40) Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why
don't you swerve to... Show more |
| 41) How many lawyers does it take to grease a
combine?
Only one... Show more |
| 42) What's the
difference between a lawyer and
an onion?
You cry... Show more |
| 43) What is the proper weight for a
lawyer?
About 3 pounds, ....... Show more |
| 44) If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how
many orchards does... Show more |
| 45) Q. Why is it that many lawyers have
broken
noses?
A. From ch... Show more |
| 46) Changing lawyers is like moving to a different
deck chair on... Show more |
| 47) If I had but one life to give for my country,
it
would be a l... Show more |
| 48) Why don't lawyers play
hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for... Show more |
| 49) How many lawyers does it take
to stop a
moving bus?
Never en... Show more |
| 50) How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
Other
lawyers look interes... Show more |
| 51) What is black and brown and looks
good on a
lawyer? A Doberma... Show more |
| 52) Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?
In
a brief case.... Show more |
| 53) How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut
the rope.... Show more |
| 54) What do lawyers do after they die?
They lie
still.... Show more |
| 55) What do you call an honest lawyer?
An
oxymoron.... Show more |
| 56) What kind of clothes do lawyers
wear?
Lawsuits.... Show more |
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