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| The Best Lawyer Jokes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1) An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawye... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2) If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of t... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3) What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4) A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5) A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 6) If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a law... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 7) A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating gu... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 8) A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9) The bartender asks him "What'll you have?". The guy answers, "A scotch, please"... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10) It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11) A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12) At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Di... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13) A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14) A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have lef... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15) A persistent job-seeker once appeared before President Lincoln and demanded an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16) A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and cover... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17) A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18) In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19) "Excuse me," a young fellow said to an older librarian, "I've just moved here and... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20) The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 21) A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 22) "How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 23) Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the thir... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 24) "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 25) A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York C... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 26) Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear"? It's about a deranged... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 27) Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 28) Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 29) You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 30) Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting fa... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 31) A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" s... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 32) A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" s... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 33) If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator, then...... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 34) What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You should take your... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 35) Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all th... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 36) First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second pers... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 37) Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work, what with a... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 38) Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can'... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 39) If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you rea... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 40) How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'd rather keep th... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 41) Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 42) Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It migh... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 43) How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him throu... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 44) What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 45) What is the proper weight for a lawyer? About 3 pounds, .......not counting the... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 46) Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulan... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 47) Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 48) If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer's.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 49) Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek? Nobody will look for them.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 50) How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 51) How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 52) What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 53) Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 54) How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 55) What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 56) What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.... Read On » | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
