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Random Marriage Jokes!

My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.



 
     
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The Best Marriage Jokes:
1) A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made h... Show more
2) A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's... Show more
3) A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and as... Show more
4) A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and ver... Show more
5) An old man and woman were married for years even though the... Show more
6) During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar... Show more
7) Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators.... Show more
8) A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's... Show more
9) A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on hi... Show more
10) After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find... Show more
11) young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting... Show more
12) A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about... Show more
13) A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife.... Show more
14) A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop!... Show more
15) A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Th... Show more
16) Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband kept... Show more
17) A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When... Show more
18) "I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to he... Show more
19) An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago f... Show more
20) As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting out... Show more
21) A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. A... Show more
22) Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole t... Show more
23) "Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor q... Show more
24) An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time... Show more
25) Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the t... Show more
26) A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises comi... Show more
27) Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park... Show more
28) This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, p... Show more
29) Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York co... Show more
30) A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husb... Show more
31) A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert... Show more
32) A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed... Show more
33) The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The L... Show more
34) Mrs. Dugan and Mrs. Riley were talking one day about Mr. Riley... Show more
35) A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while th... Show more
36) A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was s... Show more
37) There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amo... Show more
38) A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey,... Show more
39) A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day... Show more
40) When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best... Show more
41) A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who... Show more
42) The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-sid... Show more
43) A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:... Show more
44) A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling e... Show more
45) A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from... Show more
46) A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.... Show more
47) A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason... Show more
48) The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitiv... Show more
49) For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his... Show more
50) Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day... Show more
51) Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrosse... Show more
52) Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "... Show more
53) A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propos... Show more
54) A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait sever... Show more
55) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.... Show more
56) The following conversation took place one morning between a w... Show more
57) The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the thi... Show more
58) "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She... Show more
59) Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll... Show more
60) "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Brian told his best frie... Show more
61) A father came home from a long business trip to find his son... Show more
62) The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to f... Show more
63) They were married, but since the argument they had a few days... Show more
64) One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered t... Show more
65) The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. H... Show more
66) A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to... Show more
67) A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted t... Show more
68) The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar fa... Show more
69) Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the ins... Show more
70) The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from w... Show more
71) It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the fune... Show more
72) A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The... Show more
73) A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband... Show more
74) As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I c... Show more
75) At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women... Show more
76) A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the ar... Show more
77) A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husban... Show more
78) "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woma... Show more
79) A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large gro... Show more
80) A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends... Show more
81) Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the offi... Show more
82) After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young c... Show more
83) "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend h... Show more
84) In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a... Show more
85) On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak... Show more
86) The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Da... Show more
87) A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to mar... Show more
88) There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came h... Show more
89) A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not s... Show more
90) Miles Dobson was away from home on business in another city.... Show more
91) Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't get along. One day... Show more
92) After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed... Show more
93) My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where... Show more
94) Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just mo... Show more
95) A mother and her child were at a wedding. A little boy look... Show more
96) At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her id... Show more
97) Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.... Show more
98) Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around... Show more
99) Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling... Show more
100) The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after... Show more
101) A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At... Show more
102) Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the follow... Show more
103) "I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered... Show more
104) An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a... Show more
105) I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive d... Show more
106) At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was... Show more
107) Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with whic... Show more
108) A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman's home, whe... Show more
109) A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend... Show more
110) A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy,... Show more
111) An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "s... Show more
112) I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few complime... Show more
113) One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up... Show more
114) A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, m... Show more
115) The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supe... Show more
116) A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "... Show more
117) Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis... Show more
118) A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a fe... Show more
119) The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk... Show more
120) A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"... Show more
121) A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, he... Show more
122) A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of... Show more
123) "Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I... Show more
124) An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man... Show more
125) Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to h... Show more
126) It's not what you say, but the way you say it. On a blind da... Show more
127) After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his s... Show more
128) "You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in com... Show more
129) A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he... Show more
130) A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination... Show more
131) A recent study showed that the average husband only actually... Show more
132) A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.... Show more
133) A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was j... Show more
134) Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marria... Show more
135) A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband. "But... Show more
136) In West Kerry, the wife commented, "When we were first married,... Show more
137) Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party... Show more
138) Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage. The... Show more
139) A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet... Show more
140) A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. "Cong... Show more
141) Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings.... Show more
142) A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor, for the last w... Show more
143) A man was complaining to a friend. "I had it all. Money, a b... Show more
144) "I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her fr... Show more
145) A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-i... Show more
146) Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in... Show more
147) A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these o... Show more
148) Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage... Show more
149) A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his b... Show more
150) I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife... Show more
151) Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the... Show more
152) A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church doo... Show more
153) Two men were remembering their wedding days. "It was dreadful... Show more
154) Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some... Show more
155) "Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?" s... Show more
156) Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear ab... Show more
157) My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever h... Show more
158) BARTENDER: I think you've had enough, sir. DRUNK: I just lost... Show more
159) The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,... Show more
160) A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says, "Pop!... Show more
161) But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding... Show more
162) This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day tw... Show more
163) In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at t... Show more
164) Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man do... Show more
165) A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most... Show more
166) "Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obs... Show more
167) Wife, opening mail, to spouse: "The bank says that this is our... Show more
168) "And how's yer wife, Pat?" "Sure, she do be awful sick."... Show more