Random Military Jokes! |
|
Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a
barrel of potatos.
- In this day and age, the army should have a
machine to peel potatos,
complains Ivanov.
- Absolutely,
answered the sergeant. And you are its latest
model.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
 |
| |
| Get random
Military Jokes on your site! |
|
The Best Military Jokes: |
| 1) Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect
Lions team. The... Show more |
| 2) The chief of staff of the US Air
Force
decided that he would... Show more |
| 3) Seems there was a
young soldier, who,
just before battle, tol... Show more |
| 4) The General went out to find that none of his
G.I.s were ther... Show more |
| 5) Sargeant Williams was the newest drill
instructor at AOCS, Avia... Show more |
| 6) I was an Air Force ICBM launch control
officer in South Dakot... Show more |
| 7) The Captain called the Sergeant in.
"Sarge, I just got a tele... Show more |
| 8) It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was
on
his first ass... Show more |
| 9) An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths
of
Louisiana, whe... Show more |
| 10) You Might be a
Marine Wife if:
1. Your
mail goes to four add... Show more |
| 11) A Maintenance
Battalion in Germany had
just received a brand... Show more |
| 12) A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and
put down maximum... Show more |
| 13) A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog calle... Show more |
| 14) Airman Jones was assigned
to the
induction center, where he a... Show more |
| 15) At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a
private to
throw... Show more |
| 16) There were three American pilots captured by
Germans in WWII. T... Show more |
| 17) One Sunday
morning, the priest noticed
Little Johnny was star... Show more |
| 18) Father Murphy walked
into a pub and said
to the first Marine... Show more |
| 19) An airforce officer
goes to heaven and at
the gate St Peter a... Show more |
| 20) On some air bases the Air Force is on one
side of the field a... Show more |
| 21) A young naval student
was being put
through the paces by an o... Show more |
| 22) As the family gathered for a big dinner
together, the
younges... Show more |
| 23) During camouflage training in Louisiana, a
private disguised as... Show more |
| 24) A sailor in the Navy who had been at
sea
for a long time was... Show more |
| 25) An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked
the
Commanding Off... Show more |
| 26) A solider stationed in the South Pacific
wrote to his wife in t... Show more |
| 27) A patrol of allied soldiers were in a
ruined city during Worl... Show more |
| 28) An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for
departure from Thu... Show more |
| 29) The Army Airborne major was used to
harassment from Air Force... Show more |
| 30) During the Mexican American War, an intense
long standoff occ... Show more |
| 31) Having just moved
into his new office, a
pompous, new colonel... Show more |
| 32) A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the
shower, and
realized... Show more |
| 33) A trio
of old veterans were bragging
about the heroic exploit... Show more |
| 34) While practicing autorotations during a
military night traini... Show more |
| 35) During an army basic training, the lieutenant
took the
batch... Show more |
| 36) During a visit to a military medical clinic,
I was sent to th... Show more |
| 37) This Marine drill instructor, completely
frazzled by the inep... Show more |
| 38) While practicing
auto-rotations during a
military night train... Show more |
| 39) Paddy 'n'
Mick join the army, and are
put on street patrol in... Show more |
| 40) The
cavalryman was galloping down the
road, rushing to catch... Show more |
| 41) Following some duty overseas, the officers
at the Fort were p... Show more |
| 42) Following some duty overseas, the officers at
the Fort were
p... Show more |
| 43) One of my husband's duties as a novice drill
instructor at Fo... Show more |
| 44) Colin
Powell, once USA's highest ranking
military officer, (n... Show more |
| 45) A draftee went in for his physical wearing a
truss and with a... Show more |
| 46) The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With consider... Show more |
| 47) There was this General-in-training,
and his superioirs
were a... Show more |
| 48) In the 1970's, before women
were allowed
to sign up for comba... Show more |
| 49) A general noticed one of his soldiers
behaving oddly. The sol... Show more |
| 50) The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and
Marines
bicker among... Show more |
| 51) As he was
drilling a batch of recruits,
the sergeant saw that... Show more |
| 52) The story goes that Air Force One was
over the UK a few years... Show more |
| 53) Two men were boasting to each other about
their
old army days... Show more |
| 54) The
theatrical manager exclaimed: "Your
last role was magnifi... Show more |
| 55) Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a
National Guard
base... Show more |
| 56) During training exercises, the lieutenant who
was
driving dow... Show more |
| 57) A drill
sergeant had just chewed out one
of his cadets, and a... Show more |
| 58) -
When the general comes, report to me
immediately. The gener... Show more |
| 59) General Heath, a famous lover of
parade
music and marching dr... Show more |
| 60) During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly
soldier shot about a doze... Show more |
| 61) We have women
in the military, but they
don't put us in the f... Show more |
| 62) At a lesson in topography a
soldier was
asked: "What is farth... Show more |
| 63) The Pentagon once did a study on why so many
American Serviceme... Show more |
| 64) The first
woman recruit in the Army
reported for duty and was... Show more |
| 65) Q: How many military information officers
does it take to cha... Show more |
| 66) Recruits were shocked at the language the
sergeant used in th... Show more |
| 67) Having passed
the enlistment physical,
Jon was asked by the d... Show more |
| 68) Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a
barrel of potatos.
-... Show more |
| 69) Officer: Soldier, do
you have change for
a dollar?
Soldier:... Show more |
| 70) A
soldier keeps a mug upside down and
tells the sergeant:... Show more |
| 71) SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING
1. ENTHUSIASM... Show more |
| 72) Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers
does it take to chang... Show more |
| 73) Short-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also,
you
little one in... Show more |
| 74) Q. "Why do the commodes in
Marine
barracks have the cut-out t... Show more |
| 75) Two paratrooper
recruits in a
plane:
- Are you crazy, Vasi... Show more |
| 76) A recruit examines the food served to him
in the batallion di... Show more |
| 77) This is the difference between
a lousy
Golfer and a lousy Par... Show more |
| 78) - What do you think about the coming battle,
General?
- Go... Show more |
| 79) Q: "How many members of the coalition does it
take to screw i... Show more |
| 80) - Who likes music? - asks a
commander.
- Two soldiers step f... Show more |
| 81) A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do
you like
civilian... Show more |
| 82) A general calls a colonel:
- Do you
have a couple of smart m... Show more |
| 83) Q: How many U.S
marines does it take to
screw in a light bulb... Show more |
| 84) Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer
have in
common ?... Show more |
| 85) Q: how many
vietnam vets does it take to
screw in a lightbulb... Show more |
| 86) -
How many survivors of nuclear war does
it take to screw in... Show more |
| 87) - How many Iraqis does it take to launch a
Scud missile?
- T... Show more |
| 88) A
trooper asks a sergeant:
- Is it
true that man descended... Show more |
| 89) Q: How many British navy Officers does it
take to change a li... Show more |
| 90) - How many Russians does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
-... Show more |
| 91) Why did the
army send so many women with
PMS to the Persian G... Show more |
| 92) Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to
train Iraqi fight... Show more |
| 93) Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to
screw in a light bulb?... Show more |
| 94) Q: What's the difference between God and
fighter
pilots?
A:... Show more |
| 95) Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot
and the Scud
Missil... Show more |
| 96) Q. "Why does the Navy put
Marines on
board ships?"
A. "Beca... Show more |
| 97) Q: How is Saddam like Fred
Flintstone ?
A: Both may look ou... Show more |
| 98) Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in
common ?
A. Nothin... Show more |
| 99) Q: "What has
an IQ of 42?"
A: "40
Marines plus their lieute... Show more |
| 100) Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.... Show more |
| 101) Q: What is the best Iraqi job ?
A:
Foreign Ambassador... Show more |
| 102) Q: What is Iraq's
national bird ?
A:
Duck... Show more |