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MONEY JOKES!

money JOKES (random)

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY money JOKES:

 1 - A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided... More ››
 2 - Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and... More ››
 3 - A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to Chin... More ››
 4 - A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old ch... More ››
 5 - A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida o... More ››
 6 - Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna t... More ››
 7 - A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and to... More ››
 8 - Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not payi... More ››
 9 - Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed... More ››
 10 - An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dol... More ››
 11 - Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some... More ››
 12 - At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred... More ››
 13 - A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother... More ››
 14 - After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've fina... More ››
 15 - One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm... More ››
 16 - Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy so... More ››
 17 - A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."... More ››
 18 - Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dolla... More ››
 19 - A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it w... More ››
 20 - Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - bu... More ››
 21 - Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's... More ››
 22 - If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another qu... More ››
 23 - Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because s... More ››
 24 - Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why... More ››
 25 - If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off firs... More ››
 26 - If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?... More ››
 27 - William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: Th... More ››
 28 - Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That'... More ››
 29 - I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd... More ››
 30 - Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole),... More ››
 31 - Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harr... More ››
 32 - Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It sm... More ››
 33 - Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be som... More ››
 34 - Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything... More ››
 35 - 'I can't find my dollar bill,' Jane sobbed. 'Don't worry,' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't... More ››
 36 - 'Five dollars for one question!' said the girl to the fortune-teller. 'That's very expensive,isn'... More ››
 37 - Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in... More ››
 38 - If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have ? Someone els... More ››
 39 - Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you ? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch m... More ››
 40 - Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them? I did! Well, here's the elastic... More ››
 41 - Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new... More ››
 42 - My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was... More ››
 43 - Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents)... More ››
 44 - How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets... More ››
 45 - Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be? Because the dimes (times) have changed.... More ››
 46 - How can you be sure you have counterfeit money? If it's a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.... More ››
 47 - What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!... More ››
 48 - If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut? Because silence is golden.... More ››
 49 - How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company? He was shocked.... More ››
 50 - Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).... More ››
 51 - Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.... More ››
 52 - What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.... More ››
 53 - Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.... More ››
 54 - What dog has money? A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).... More ››
 55 - Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')... More ››
 56 - What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back.... More ››
 57 - Why did your sister feed money to her cow ? Because she wanted to get rich milk.... More ››
 58 - What happened when the cat swallowed a coin? There was money in the kitty.... More ››
 59 - Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !... More ››
 60 - Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator? He liked cold cash.... More ››
 61 - Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks.... More ››
 62 - The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.... More ››
 63 - How did rich people get their money? They were calm and collected.... More ››
 64 - If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have? A dollar.... More ››
 65 - When does a female deer need money? When she doesn't have a buck.... More ››
 66 - What is the quickest way to double your money ? Fold it in half !... More ››
 67 - Why are diapers like $10 bills? Because you have to change them.... More ››
 68 - Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint.... More ››
 69 - What did the man do when he got a big gas bill? He exploded.... More ››
 70 - What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny.... More ››
 71 - How can a can you double your money? By folding it in half.... More ››
 72 - What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough).... More ››
 73 - Why do wallets make so much noise? Because money talks.... More ››
 74 - How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.... More ››
 75 - How can you get rich by eating? Eat fortune cookies.... More ››
 76 - Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.... More ››
 77 - Why is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters.... More ››
 78 - How can you make money fast? Glue it to the floor.... More ››
 79 - Where can you always find money? In the dictionary.... More ››
 80 - Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks.... More ››
 81 - Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.... More ››
 82 - Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks.... More ››
 83 - Where do hogs keep their money? In piggy banks.... More ››
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