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PHONE JOKES!

phone JOKES (random)

If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY phone JOKES:

 1 - Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Coul... More ››
 2 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.... More ››
 3 - Why is an engaged girl like a telephone? Because they both have rings.... More ››
 4 - How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone.... More ››
 5 - A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and th... More ››
 6 - After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
 7 - After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
 8 - Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling... More ››
 9 - A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being... More ››
 10 - At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of... More ››
 11 - Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question fac... More ››
 12 - The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone,... More ››
 13 - The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "T... More ››
 14 - Kelso met Hensley on the street. "Hey!" said Kelso, "how come I never hear from you? Why don't y... More ››
 15 - Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't th... More ››
 16 - Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long dista... More ››
 17 - Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should re... More ››
 18 - Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long dist... More ››
 19 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operato... More ››
 20 - Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an ope... More ››
 21 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in t... More ››
 22 - How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy sig... More ››
 23 - Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!... More ››
 24 - How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!... More ››
 25 - How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?... More ››
 26 - Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.... More ››
 27 - What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !... More ››
 28 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!... More ››
 29 - What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone? He grew up to be a bellhop!... More ››
 30 - What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ? A lot of crackling on the line !... More ››
 31 - If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get? Snippy answers.... More ››
 32 - What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ? A wedding ring !... More ››
 33 - Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!... More ››
 34 - What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!... More ››
 35 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!... More ››
 36 - How do Iranians speak on the telephone? Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).... More ››
 37 - What asks no question but demands an answer? A doorbell or a ringing telephone.... More ››
 38 - What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? "Who said talk is cheap?"... More ››
 39 - What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it.... More ››
 40 - What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? A phone moan.... More ››
 41 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!... More ››
 42 - What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!... More ››
 43 - If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk.... More ››
 44 - How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!... More ››
 45 - Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book? They all have phones.... More ››
 46 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!... More ››
 47 - When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!... More ››
 48 - How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone.... More ››
 49 - Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !... More ››
 50 - How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.... More ››
 51 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash? Tele-Scope.... More ››
 52 - How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !... More ››
 53 - How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow.... More ››
 54 - How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!... More ››
 55 - What animals talk on the telephone the most? The yakety-yaks!... More ››
 56 - Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions).... More ››
 57 - What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck.... More ››
 58 - When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to!... More ››
 59 - What kind of music do phones love to hear? A symphony... More ››
 60 - How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!... More ››
 61 - How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls? Collect!... More ››
 62 - How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!... More ››
 63 - What do ghosts use to phone home? A terror-phone.... More ››
 64 - How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?... More ››
 65 - How do scaredy-cats answer the phone? Yellow?... More ››
 66 - How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?... More ››
 67 - What kind of phone makes music? A saxophone.... More ››
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