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The Best Pig Jokes: |
| 1) The teacher was furious with her son. "Just
because
you've be... Show more |
| 2) MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in
school
today?
FIRST PIGLE... Show more |
| 3) If an elephant is the
symbol of the Republican
Party and a do... Show more |
| 4) A city child came running into the farmhouse. "No
wonder
that... Show more |
| 5) Did you hear about the pig's vacation?
They
had a wonderful t... Show more |
| 6) How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?
No
problem. Every... Show more |
| 7) Why do pigs run into trees?
To shake out the
alligators.
I'... Show more |
| 8) What do you get when you cross a pig with a
canary?
I don't... Show more |
| 9) Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his
own?
He ma... Show more |
| 10) Did you hear about the piglets
who wanted to
do something spe... Show more |
| 11) What did the mama pig say
when junior pig
bought a basket of... Show more |
| 12) FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves
you?
SEC... Show more |
| 13) Why did the spotted pigs run away?
They
thought the traveling... Show more |
| 14) What did the
pig do when a beetle landed in
his feed trough?... Show more |
| 15) What's that pig doing in the middle of the road
with a red li... Show more |
| 16) Why won't the witch
let the traveling pig
actors into her gin... Show more |
| 17) I told you not to let those pigs In my office.
Now, look what... Show more |
| 18) SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three
candles for your p... Show more |
| 19) Why wouldn't the
piglet's mother let her
read romantic novels... Show more |
| 20) Pigs don't look very smart to me.
Sure, they
are. You ever se... Show more |
| 21) What did the fat pig say when the farmer
dumped corn mash int... Show more |
| 22) Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that
lets her pre... Show more |
| 23) Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen
appliance
that lets her pre... Show more |
| 24) Did you hear about the pig who tried to
start
a hot-air ballo... Show more |
| 25) Is lunch the favorite
subject of piglets?
No, it's theatre.... Show more |
| 26) Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage
In November?... Show more |
| 27) Why should you never invite a pig to join your
tug-of-war tea... Show more |
| 28) Why wouldn't the bird
let her chicks go near
the pig pen?
S... Show more |
| 29) The kids are crazy about a new piglet
toy.
When they wind it... Show more |
| 30) Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?
Because its head... Show more |
| 31) What do you get when you cross a pig with an
elephant?
A ve... Show more |
| 32) All our pigs are learning karate.
Oh, I don't
believe that... Show more |
| 33) Why did the pig join a muscle-building
class?
He thought "p... Show more |
| 34) Why did the pig run away from the pig
sty?
He felt that the... Show more |
| 35) Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with
toads?
She d... Show more |
| 36) Did you hear about the pigs
who took up
motorcycling?
They... Show more |
| 37) Why didn't the pigs eat the rotten eggs in their
feed trough?... Show more |
| 38) Is it true the pigs went over
Niagara Falls in
a barrel?
No... Show more |
| 39) Why is the cook worried
about catching his
runaway pig?
He... Show more |
| 40) If you drop this book in a pig
pen, what
should you do?
Tak... Show more |
| 41) The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host
What happened?... Show more |
| 42) Why do pigs never recover from illness ?
Because you have to... Show more |
| 43) Have you heard about the pig who took up disco
dancing?
He li... Show more |
| 44) What did the mama pig say
to her bad little
piglet?
"Behave... Show more |
| 45) Why did the little piglet fall
in love with
the hog?
Becaus... Show more |
| 46) Why did the piglets get in trouble in their
stained glass cla... Show more |
| 47) Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized
his
story?... Show more |
| 48) What should you say to a pig on roller skates?
Don't say anyt... Show more |
| 49) Why isn't there a Superpig?
It's too hard
for a pig to change... Show more |
| 50) Why did the piglets get in trouble in
their
biology class?... Show more |
| 51) Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so
quickly?
Th... Show more |
| 52) Why are there so many piggy banks?
Pigs don't
like to hide th... Show more |
| 53) Why is your dad chasing those
pigs through the
garden?
We'r... Show more |
| 54) Why did the pig send his story to New
York?
He wanted to be... Show more |
| 55) Why was
the pig unhappy in the Minors?
Because he wants to... Show more |
| 56) Why did the little pig try to
join the Navy?
He loved to si... Show more |
| 57) What did the pig say
when he found a line of
ants in his trou... Show more |
| 58) Why won't pigs take up
jogging?
They
don't like to get that... Show more |
| 59) How can you tell the pig
is a failure as
Easter bunny?
By t... Show more |
| 60) When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake?
Nobody. Th... Show more |
| 61) How can you recognize a Gnome
Pig?
They're the ones with th... Show more |
| 62) What was the name of the hog who was knighted by
King Arthur?... Show more |
| 63) Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called... Show more |
| 64) What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her
tail?
"That's... Show more |
| 65) Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher
pig?
Because he w... Show more |
| 66) Doctor, doctor, I've got a
little
sty.
Then you'd better buy... Show more |
| 67) What world athletic sporting event is held every
four
years?... Show more |
| 68) Pig's explanation for the creation of the
Universe:
The Pig... Show more |
| 69) Why did the little pig hide the soap?
He heard
the farmer yel... Show more |
| 70) Why did the
pig wear yellow coveralls?
He
split a seam in h... Show more |
| 71) What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy
goat?
A c... Show more |
| 72) Why doesn't Santa hitch
his sleigh to a pig?
Pigs don't hav... Show more |
| 73) What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the
Yukon?
Sow-r d... Show more |
| 74) Where did the piglets study their ABC's?
At a
school for high... Show more |
| 75) What famous pig actor made a movie about
Frankenswine?
Boar... Show more |
| 76) What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of
grapes
?
A... Show more |
| 77) How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?
She reads them... Show more |
| 78) Why are pigs such early risers?
Did you ever
try to shut off... Show more |
| 79) Why did the big pig want to go on stage?
There
was a lot of h... Show more |
| 80) How did the little pig win at Monopoly?
He
built hotels on Po... Show more |
| 81) Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous
movie scenes?
A s... Show more |
| 82) What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?
Garbage col... Show more |
| 83) What is the pig's favorite musical instrument?
The piggalo (p... Show more |
| 84) Why did the piglets do badly in
school?
They were all slow... Show more |
| 85) What do little piglets do on a Saturday night?
Have a pigjama... Show more |
| 86) Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?
It
was Saint Patrick... Show more |
| 87) Did you hear the story
about the razorback
hog?
It's pretty... Show more |
| 88) What would a pig name a chain of food
stores?
"Stop "N Slop Ma... Show more |
| 89) What would happen if pigs went on strike?
They'd form pigget... Show more |
| 90) Where is the most open green space in New York
City?
Centra... Show more |
| 91) What are the pigs warned to look out for in New
York?
Pigpo... Show more |
| 92) What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?
Rub
him with oinkm... Show more |
| 93) What does a pig use to write his term
papers
with?
Pen and O... Show more |
| 94) What did the pig say when it found a fly in its
soup?
"Yum Yu... Show more |
| 95) What do you call the story of The Three Little
Pigs?
A pig ta... Show more |
| 96) When is a pig an
ecologist?
When he
recycles garbage into h... Show more |
| 97) Why are pigs such great
football fans?
They're always rooti... Show more |
| 98) Do pigs like Backgammon?
No, they prefer their
backs scratche... Show more |
| 99) What did the pig say when his brother rolled on
him?
"Heavy... Show more |
| 100) When pigs get a toothache, who do
they see?'
Painless Porke... Show more |
| 101) Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?
The corniest ones... Show more |
| 102) Why did the pig go to the casino ?
To play the
slop machine !... Show more |
| 103) Why can't
there be a Santa Pig?
Pigs
don't fit in chimneys.... Show more |
| 104) Why do pigs like February 14th?
They get lots
of Valenswines.... Show more |
| 105) What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs?
A hog hog.... Show more |
| 106) What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?
Crashing boars.... Show more |
| 107) Why did the pig go to the
casino?
To play
the slop machine!... Show more |
| 108) Why did the pig join the Army?
He heard the
food was a mess.... Show more |
| 109) FARMER: Who raided my vegetable
patch?
PIGLET: Beets me!... Show more |
| 110) How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a
sty-scraper!... Show more |
| 111) What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?
Auld Lang Swine.... Show more |
| 112) What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!... Show more |
| 113) What do you say to a naked pig?
"I never
sausage a body."... Show more |
| 114) Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?
He was a
little shoat.... Show more |
| 115) A
pig's favorite movie:
The Monster That
Ate New York.... Show more |
| 116) Why do pigs love Halloween?
There's lots of
hogsgobblin.... Show more |
| 117) What do pigs do on nice afternoons?
They go on
pignics.... Show more |
| 118) What kind of pig do sows dislike?
Male
Chauvinist Pigs.... Show more |
| 119) Where do retired pigs go for warm weather?
The
tropigs!... Show more |
| 120) Why do pigs have flat snouts?
From running in
to trees.... Show more |
| 121) What do you call a lady pig planting seeds?
A
sow sow.... Show more |
| 122) What kind of furniture do pigs like best?
Overstuffed.... Show more |
| 123) What position does the pig play in football?
Loinback.... Show more |
| 124) What would happen if pigs could fly?
Bacon
would go up!... Show more |
| 125) Who is the greatest painter of this century?
Pigcasso!... Show more |
| 126) What do you call a pig in a steel foundry?
A
pig pig.... Show more |
| 127) What do you call a pig with good table manners?
Sick.... Show more |
| 128) What instrument do piggys play in a band?
Pigcussion!... Show more |
| 129) Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In his hog
cabin!... Show more |
| 130) What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!... Show more |
| 131) What is Chuck Norris' "best karate move"?
Pork Chop!... Show more |
| 132) How do you take a pig to
hospital?
By
hambulance!... Show more |
| 133) Name the pig's
favorite Shakespeare play.
Hamlet.... Show more |
| 134) What do piggys take when they are sick?
Pigicillin!... Show more |
| 135) What do you call a pig with the flu?
A swine
swine.... Show more |
| 136) What do you call a pig with three eyes?
...A
piiig... Show more |
| 137) What did the pig call a manuscript?
A shoat
story.... Show more |
| 138) What do you call a pig with no legs?
A
groundhog!... Show more |
| 139) What do hip pigs call their ladies?
Fine
swine.... Show more |
| 140) What do you call a pig who overacts?
A ham
ham.... Show more |
| 141) What soft drink do pigs
like best?
Root
beer.... Show more |
| 142) Where do bad pigs go?
They get sent to the
pen.... Show more |
| 143) What do pigs like with chow mein?
Sooey
sauce.... Show more |
| 144) What kind of tie does a pig wear ?
Pig's tie
!... Show more |
| 145) Sports fad
invented by pigs:
Mud
wrestling.... Show more |
| 146) Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?
Cupigs!... Show more |
| 147) What is a pigs favourite ballet?
Swine Lake!... Show more |
| 148) How does a pig write home?
With a pig pen.... Show more |
| 149) What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar!... Show more |
| 150) What do you call a crafty pig?
CunningHam... Show more |
| 151) What do you give a
sick pig?
Oinkment!... Show more |
| 152) What goes "knio, knio?"
A backward pig.... Show more |
| 153) What do pigs drive?
Pig-up trucks!... Show more |
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