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RELIGIOUS JOKES!

religious JOKES (random)

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY religious JOKES:

 1 - A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's ti... More ››
 2 - A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble,... More ››
 3 - This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christia... More ››
 4 - A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day i... More ››
 5 - The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. Th... More ››
 6 - A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long an... More ››
 7 - A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all th... More ››
 8 - A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven... More ››
 9 - On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while,... More ››
 10 - God created the donkey & said to him : " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carr... More ››
 11 - A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, h... More ››
 12 - There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he... More ››
 13 - Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were dri... More ››
 14 - The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone o... More ››
 15 - A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussi... More ››
 16 - A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and... More ››
 17 - The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beaut... More ››
 18 - A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in... More ››
 19 - It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a hig... More ››
 20 - A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at... More ››
 21 - While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bern... More ››
 22 - Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car... More ››
 23 - This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian... More ››
 24 - Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the... More ››
 25 - Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes s... More ››
 26 - Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first... More ››
 27 - An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members,... More ››
 28 - A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashiona... More ››
 29 - I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.... More ››
 30 - As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but year... More ››
 31 - A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are u... More ››
 32 - There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adu... More ››
 33 - Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. On... More ››
 34 - A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as... More ››
 35 - A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, "So h... More ››
 36 - Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronar... More ››
 37 - The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a... More ››
 38 - God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the... More ››
 39 - Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial sc... More ››
 40 - The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the c... More ››
 41 - There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevato... More ››
 42 - Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar.... More ››
 43 - An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new... More ››
 44 - One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaqu... More ››
 45 - Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, 'Mike, you wa... More ››
 46 - A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long t... More ››
 47 - A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mom... More ››
 48 - One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a... More ››
 49 - A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy... More ››
 50 - A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by th... More ››
 51 - There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the... More ››
 52 - A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since... More ››
 53 - A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could. 'God,' he prayed, 'I really want a car... More ››
 54 - When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and bought a tuxedo in the ho... More ››
 55 - A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well kn... More ››
 56 - Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. "Well, mum, our teacher... More ››
 57 - A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the... More ››
 58 - God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he d... More ››
 59 - Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for the... More ››
 60 - Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter... More ››
 61 - A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, debating the greatness... More ››
 62 - A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing golf. Sarah misses a 3 foot putt and yells, "Goddamn it... More ››
 63 - A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the... More ››
 64 - A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a displa... More ››
 65 - A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in the news, Mrs. Moskowitz s... More ››
 66 - A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible... More ››
 67 - This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made. Th... More ››
 68 - It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to hi... More ››
 69 - When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told th... More ››
 70 - Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer st... More ››
 71 - The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer.... More ››
 72 - On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large... More ››
 73 - Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer star... More ››
 74 - Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I want to do a miracle... More ››
 75 - Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to pr... More ››
 76 - Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could wa... More ››
 77 - Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here,... More ››
 78 - O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wo... More ››
 79 - The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they... More ››
 80 - Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a... More ››
 81 - Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting ministe... More ››
 82 - Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptis... More ››
 83 - A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the d... More ››
 84 - The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small tow... More ››
 85 - A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is... More ››
 86 - A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help... More ››
 87 - The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the pr... More ››
 88 - A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the G... More ››
 89 - A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She wal... More ››
 90 - Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why a... More ››
 91 - A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcements and poste... More ››
 92 - The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked m... More ››
 93 - Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar wi... More ››
 94 - An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven... More ››
 95 - The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about t... More ››
 96 - After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decid... More ››
 97 - One day God called the Pope, and he said "John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the g... More ››
 98 - A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind hi... More ››
 99 - A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at b... More ››
 100 - There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the pl... More ››
 101 - A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.... More ››
 102 - A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the beginning of the servic... More ››
 103 - The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give te... More ››
 104 - And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?" And His disciples answered... More ››
 105 - Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any p... More ››
 106 - Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with m... More ››
 107 - At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, "What must w... More ››
 108 - "And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?" the priest asked at confession.... More ››
 109 - Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come... More ››
 110 - The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he sai... More ››
 111 - Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam s... More ››
 112 - Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a milli... More ››
 113 - Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in... More ››
 114 - An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest k... More ››
 115 - A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church."... More ››
 116 - Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to th... More ››
 117 - Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he... More ››
 118 - Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your moth... More ››
 119 - Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyon... More ››
 120 - Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession,... More ››
 121 - Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'? A: The same reason they... More ››
 122 - Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he... More ››
 123 - Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never e... More ››
 124 - Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around the Jordan. The banks wer... More ››
 125 - Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? A. They r... More ››
 126 - Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to han... More ››
 127 - Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garde... More ››
 128 - Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Honda...because the apostles were all in on... More ››
 129 - Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's c... More ››
 130 - What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man? A door to door sales... More ››
 131 - Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the la... More ››
 132 - Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directio... More ››
 133 - Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out... More ››
 134 - Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.... More ››
 135 - Q: When was the longest day in the Bible? A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.... More ››
 136 - Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?" Jesus says, "Just hanging around."... More ››
 137 - What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ? You can't keep a good man down !... More ››
 138 - Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!' Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'... More ››
 139 - Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam - because he was the first in the human race.... More ››
 140 - What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A nun rolling down a hill.... More ››
 141 - Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.... More ››
 142 - What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!... More ››
 143 - Jill: Have you read the Bible? Jack: No, I'm waiting for the film to come round.... More ››
 144 - Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa.... More ››
 145 - What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.... More ››
 146 - Who was the best actor in the bible ? Samson, he brought the house down !... More ››
 147 - Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight.... More ››
 148 - Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice.... More ››
 149 - How do Religious Education teachers mark exams? With spirit levels.... More ››
 150 - Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less.... More ››
 151 - Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin' Catholic!... More ››
 152 - Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.... More ››
 153 - What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar? He raised Cain.... More ››
 154 - Q. How do you make holy water? A. Boil the hell out of it.... More ››
 155 - Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing? A: He only had two worms!... More ››
 156 - What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!... More ››
 157 - Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.... More ››
 158 - At what time of day was Adam born? Just before Eve.... More ››
 159 - Who designed Noah's ark? An ark-itect !... More ››
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