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The Best Religious Jokes: |
| 1) Little
Mary was not the best
student in Sunday School. Usuall... Show more |
| 2) God created the donkey &
said to him : "
You will work unceas... Show more |
| 3) A
priest was called away for an
emergency. Not wanting to lea... Show more |
| 4) A couple had two little mischievous boys,
ages 8 and 10. They... Show more |
| 5) There's this guy who had been lost and
walking in the desert... Show more |
| 6) Three
Reform Rabbis were in a terrible
auto wreck. None
sur... Show more |
| 7) The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a
meeting in Rome. The Ra... Show more |
| 8) A Catholic Priest and
a Rabbi were
chatting one day when the... Show more |
| 9) A
preacher, who shall we say was "humor
impaired," attended a... Show more |
| 10) The Reverend
Francis Norton woke up
Sunday morning and realiz... Show more |
| 11) A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in
dire
trouble. His... Show more |
| 12) It seems that there was a little old church
out in the countr... Show more |
| 13) A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an
accident.
The t... Show more |
| 14) While leading the Friday evening
services, the Rabbi noticed... Show more |
| 15) Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary
Vincent,
are
tr... Show more |
| 16) This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it
important to own a... Show more |
| 17) This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it
important to
own... Show more |
| 18) Seymour was a good and pious man, and when
he passed away,
th... Show more |
| 19) Moses,
Jesus and an old man are golfing.
Moses steps up to
t... Show more |
| 20) Old Mrs.
Watkins awoke one spring morning
to find that the ri... Show more |
| 21) An old preacher was dying. He sent a message
for his banker a... Show more |
| 22) A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many
years ago was
st... Show more |
| 23) I was walking across a bridge one day, and I
saw a man standing... Show more |
| 24) As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically
he
was a mess. N... Show more |
| 25) A priest and a nun are on their way
back
home from a trip whe... Show more |
| 26) A very religious man lived right next
door to an atheist. Whi... Show more |
| 27) There's
this old priest who got sick of
all the people in his... Show more |
| 28) The two thousand member
Baptist church
was filled to overflow... Show more |
| 29) A man is
struck by a bus on a busy
street in in New York City... Show more |
| 30) A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together
on a
train, and th... Show more |
| 31) Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy
Hospital
(a Catholic hospital)... Show more |
| 32) The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to
heaven. He's met by the... Show more |
| 33) A man sobering up from the night before is
sitting through the... Show more |
| 34) God is sitting up in his ivory
tower,
he's had enough of the... Show more |
| 35) Sister Mary burst into the office of the
principal of Our Lad... Show more |
| 36) The Baptist preacher just finished his
sermon for the day and... Show more |
| 37) A drunk man
who smelled like a beer sat
down on a subway seat... Show more |
| 38) There's this cathedral that's still being
worked on, and the... Show more |
| 39) Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley
checks estimates for th... Show more |
| 40) An elderly man was quite unhappy because he
had lost his
favo... Show more |
| 41) One Sunday morning the pastor
noticed
little Johnny was
sta... Show more |
| 42) Pat and Mike were walking down the
street, when they came to... Show more |
| 43) A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the
Irish countryside e... Show more |
| 44) A little nine year old girl was in church
with her mother when... Show more |
| 45) One afternoon a little boy was playing
outdoors. He used his... Show more |
| 46) A little nine year old girl
was in
church with her mother whe... Show more |
| 47) A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers
asked the students to... Show more |
| 48) There is a story about a monastery in Europe
perched high on... Show more |
| 49) A priest and a
rabbi operated a church
and a synagogue
acros... Show more |
| 50) A little Catholic
kid was praying as
hard as he could.
'God,... Show more |
| 51) When this guy heard that the Pope was coming
to town, he went... Show more |
| 52) A big, burly man visited the pastor's home
and asked to see t... Show more |
| 53) Johnny was asked
by his mother what he
had learned in Sunday... Show more |
| 54) A pious man who had reached the age of 105
suddenly
stopped... Show more |
| 55) God looks down and notices that Adam is all
alone
while all t... Show more |
| 56) Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what
portion of the... Show more |
| 57) Several years ago, the
Catholic Church
required women to wear... Show more |
| 58) A Jesuit,
a Dominican and a Franciscan
were walking along an... Show more |
| 59) A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing
golf. Sarah misses a 3... Show more |
| 60) A preacher was completing
a temperance
sermon: with great
e... Show more |
| 61) A preacher was completing a temperance
sermon: with great exp... Show more |
| 62) A man
walked into a gift shop that sold
religious items. Near... Show more |
| 63) A few years ago, when
the Catholic
church reform began to be... Show more |
| 64) A little girl spoke to her teacher about
whales.
The teache... Show more |
| 65) This minister just had all of his
remaining teeth pulled and... Show more |
| 66) It was about a month
ago when a man in
Amsterdam felt that he... Show more |
| 67) When the airline
Captain announced they
were flying over Salt... Show more |
| 68) Three Pastors from the south were having
lunch in a diner. On... Show more |
| 69) The little church in the suburbs suddenly
stopped buying from i... Show more |
| 70) On the steps of this church two pan handlers
were doing
their... Show more |
| 71) Three Pastors from the south were having
lunch in a diner. On... Show more |
| 72) Jesus and Moses
are sitting in a boat
fishing and Jesus says... Show more |
| 73) Knowing that the minister was very fond of
cherry brandy, one o... Show more |
| 74) Two nuns were driving alone out in the
boonies. They ran out... Show more |
| 75) Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman
to stone her and appro... Show more |
| 76) O'Toole
worked in the lumber yard for
twenty years and all th... Show more |
| 77) The Pope took a philosophy professor (an
atheist at that) out... Show more |
| 78) Sometimes
women are overly suspicious of
their husbands. When... Show more |
| 79) Delivering a speech at a banquet on the
night of his arrival... Show more |
| 80) Before performing a baptism, the priest
approached the
young... Show more |
| 81) A friend was in front of me coming out of
church one day, and... Show more |
| 82) The Reverend
Billy Graham tells of a
time early in his minist... Show more |
| 83) A local priest and pastor stood by the side
of
the road holdi... Show more |
| 84) A
minister told his congregation, "Next
week I plan to preach... Show more |
| 85) The priest was preparing a man for his long
day's journey int... Show more |
| 86) A Brit, a
Frenchman and a
Russian are viewing a painting of A... Show more |
| 87) A kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of childre... Show more |
| 88) Johnny is walking along and a priest is
coming the other way.... Show more |
| 89) A
young lad was visiting a church for
the first time, checkin... Show more |
| 90) The congregation was sitting and waiting for
the preacher
to... Show more |
| 91) Morris was passing a small courtyard and
heard voices
murmuri... Show more |
| 92) An old rabbi
is talking with one of his
friends and
says wit... Show more |
| 93) The preacher was wired for sound with a
lapel
mike, and as he... Show more |
| 94) After church on
Sunday morning, a young
boy suddenly
announ... Show more |
| 95) One day God called the Pope, and he
said
"John Paul I have go... Show more |
| 96) A Christian man had
just died and was on
his way to heaven. W... Show more |
| 97) A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa
when he
heard the... Show more |
| 98) A mother was teaching her three
year old
daughter The Lord's... Show more |
| 99) There was an old
woman on a plane,
sitting next to
the Pope... Show more |
| 100) A little boy
was learning about God in
his church, and he was... Show more |
| 101) On
the airplane on his way back to Rome,
the Pope was doing a... Show more |
| 102) A priest was vested in his surplus and
cassock ready to proce... Show more |
| 103) The church was conducting its annual fund
drive. One member of... Show more |
| 104) And Jesus said unto his disciples,
"Whom
do men say
that I... Show more |
| 105) Examiner: I think you know very little, if
anything at all, a... Show more |
| 106) Two bishops were
discussing the decline
in morals in the mode... Show more |
| 107) At the first session of a conversion class
the
minister conduc... Show more |
| 108) "And how much of that stack of hay did you
steal, Kavanaugh?"... Show more |
| 109) Q. How do we know that Job went to a
chiropractor?
A. Becaus... Show more |
| 110) The
local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled
out of... Show more |
| 111) Q. Where is the first baseball game in the
Bible?
A. In the... Show more |
| 112) Mortal: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one... Show more |
| 113) Q. What kind
of motor vehicles are in
the Bible?
A. 2 Cor. 4... Show more |
| 114) An old drunk stumbles into a confessional.
After
not hearing... Show more |
| 115) A minister was asked by a
politician,
"Name something the gove... Show more |
| 116) Q. Who was the greatest female financier in
the Bible?
A. Phar... Show more |
| 117) Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the
most
flagrant lawbreaker... Show more |
| 118) Q. What excuse did Adam give to his
children as to why he no... Show more |
| 119) Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the
Bible?
A. Noah. He w... Show more |
| 120) Q. How
can you tell if someone is half
Catholic and half Jewi... Show more |
| 121) Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at
the end
of a prayer instead of '... Show more |
| 122) Did you hear about that guy
who was
asked to be a Jehovah's w... Show more |
| 123) Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David
hit him with a sli... Show more |
| 124) Q. Which
area of Palestine was
especially wealthy?
A. The ar... Show more |
| 125) Q. What is one of the first things that
Adam and Eve did afte... Show more |
| 126) Q: What's the difference between Jesus and
a picture of Jesus... Show more |
| 127) Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the
Bible?
A. Jehovah... Show more |
| 128) Q. What kind of
motor vehicles are in
the Bible?
A. Honda...... Show more |
| 129) Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned
in
the Bible?
A... Show more |
| 130) What do you get when you cross a Jehova's
witness with a
bu... Show more |
| 131) Q. What
kind of motor vehicles are in
the Bible?
A. David's... Show more |
| 132) Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40
years?
A: Even... Show more |
| 133) Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled
from the
Garden of... Show more |
| 134) Q. Who is the greatest
babysitter
mentioned in the Bible?
A.... Show more |
| 135) Q: When was the longest day in the Bible?
A: The day Adam was... Show more |
| 136) Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing
for Passover?"
J... Show more |
| 137) What's the moral of the story
about
Jonah and the whale ?
Yo... Show more |
| 138) Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!'
Patient: 'PRAISE GOD.... Show more |
| 139) Who is the fastest runner in
history.
Adam - because he was th... Show more |
| 140) What's black and
white, black and
white, black and white?
A... Show more |
| 141) Q. Who
was the greatest comedian in the
Bible?
A. Samson. He... Show more |
| 142) What do you get
when you cross Holy
Water with castor oil?... Show more |
| 143) Jill: Have you read the Bible?
Jack: No,
I'm waiting for the... Show more |
| 144) Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic
Satanist?
A: He sold his... Show more |
| 145) What is the meaning of life?
All
evidence to date suggests i... Show more |
| 146) Who was the best actor in the bible
?
Samson, he brought the... Show more |
| 147) Q. What is the best way to get to
Paradise?
A. Turn right and... Show more |
| 148) Q: Why did God
create man before woman?
A: He didn't want a... Show more |
| 149) How do Religious Education
teachers mark
exams?
With spirit... Show more |
| 150) Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got
married?
A. Ruth-... Show more |
| 151) Q: What do you call a sleepwalking
nun?
A: A roamin' Cathol... Show more |
| 152) Q. What do they
call pastors in
Germany?
A. German Shepherds... Show more |
| 153) What did Adam do when he wanted some
sugar?
He raised Cain.... Show more |
| 154) Q. How do you make holy water?
A. Boil
the hell out of it.... Show more |
| 155) Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He
only had two worms!... Show more |
| 156) What language do the
Vatican Police
speak?
Pig Latin!... Show more |
| 157) Is there a
God?
A billion Hindus
can't be wrong.... Show more |
| 158) At what time of day was Adam born?
Just
before Eve.... Show more |
| 159) Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect
!... Show more |
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