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TRAVEL AND TOURIST JOKES!

travel and tourist JOKES (random)

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: "How large is the population here?" "Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY travel and tourist JOKES:

 1 - A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherma... More ››
 2 - Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World C... More ››
 3 - A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He... More ››
 4 - Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a... More ››
 5 - A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and boug... More ››
 6 - An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While... More ››
 7 - A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find... More ››
 8 - A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public... More ››
 9 - Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the othe... More ››
 10 - A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in t... More ››
 11 - A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediat... More ››
 12 - Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, sign... More ››
 13 - A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each... More ››
 14 - A pair of tourists were out in the fields when they discovered an abandoned well near an old far... More ››
 15 - A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon,... More ››
 16 - Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent... More ››
 17 - Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof... More ››
 18 - A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. H... More ››
 19 - An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was l... More ››
 20 - In Alaska's National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hi... More ››
 21 - There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed... More ››
 22 - A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the cler... More ››
 23 - A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says... More ››
 24 - An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when... More ››
 25 - A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a... More ››
 26 - A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and m... More ››
 27 - Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yank's. Why that is Buckingham... More ››
 28 - A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minut... More ››
 29 - During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with... More ››
 30 - Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started... More ››
 31 - This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She... More ››
 32 - I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. started to explain the length of the fl... More ››
 33 - Windsor castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airp... More ››
 34 - The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "... More ››
 35 - "And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinne... More ››
 36 - A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling... More ››
 37 - A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in t... More ››
 38 - A man arrived at a seaside hotel where he had made a reservation rather late at night. All the l... More ››
 39 - A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane.... More ››
 40 - Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real... More ››
 41 - A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of... More ››
 42 - An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides t... More ››
 43 - There was some mix-up with a woman's room. The clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was... More ››
 44 - The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy weather, and Mrs Jones wasn't feelin... More ››
 45 - A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out t... More ››
 46 - A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read "To... More ››
 47 - On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says. "I hop... More ››
 48 - There was a man staying the night in a hotel. He called the front desk and said, "Excuse me, s... More ››
 49 - "I can't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing b... More ››
 50 - A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligato... More ››
 51 - Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with... More ››
 52 - Someone -- always a man -- always asks, "does the ship run on generators?" The Cruise Director... More ››
 53 - A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she... More ››
 54 - Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'l... More ››
 55 - Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children, travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty,... More ››
 56 - Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers c... More ››
 57 - What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel? I'm sorry to leave,... More ››
 58 - The frightened tourist: "Are there any bats in this cave?" The guide: "There were, but don't... More ››
 59 - Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and fiv... More ››
 60 - Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No, we just... More ››
 61 - "Look, guide, here are some LION tracks." "Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where th... More ››
 62 - Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite i... More ››
 63 - The tourist: "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park... More ››
 64 - Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse... More ››
 65 - Teacher: I'd like a room, please. Hotel Receptionist: Single, Sir? Teacher: Yes, but I am en... More ››
 66 - What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels? Very large ones.... More ››
 67 - Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase? Driver: I love to travel.... More ››
 68 - "Were you in Paris on your vacation?" "I don't know, my wife got the tickets."... More ››
 69 - "Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait, someone else is using it."... More ››
 70 - What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ? The Baaahaaamaaas !... More ››
 71 - How can you tell elephants love to travel ? They are always packing their trunk !... More ››
 72 - Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!... More ››
 73 - Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ? He wanted to find Pluto !... More ››
 74 - What is a twip? A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain.... More ››
 75 - What does a witch get if she's a poor traveler? Broom sick.... More ››
 76 - What people travel the most? Romans.... More ››
 77 - "Room service? Send up a larger room."... More ››
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