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WOMEN JOKES!

women JOKES (random)

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.
"Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea.
"Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner.
His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
" I was humiliated," he groaned.
"She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.
" We hadn't started eating yet."

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY women JOKES:

 1 - Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!... More ››
 2 - A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For... More ››
 3 - On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and... More ››
 4 - A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she r... More ››
 5 - Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a... More ››
 6 - What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? Nothing, you told her twice.... More ››
 7 - A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and... More ››
 8 - The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a... More ››
 9 - A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his drea... More ››
 10 - A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided... More ››
 11 - A young woman with a happy, cheerful voice was working in her husband's trucking line office. Sh... More ››
 12 - A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dress... More ››
 13 - A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sl... More ››
 14 - Q: Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesn't mind if you talk to other modems. A... More ››
 15 - At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey,"... More ››
 16 - An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and d... More ››
 17 - One woman to another at a singles bar: "I'm not as optimistic about relationships as I used to b... More ››
 18 - A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her,... More ››
 19 - A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." -... More ››
 20 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you... More ››
 21 - In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God cr... More ››
 22 - Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know, Sir. Teacher: Come on, Fred,... More ››
 23 - Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would ha... More ››
 24 - Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman =... More ››
 25 - Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over... More ››
 26 - Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because mo... More ››
 27 - How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with... More ››
 28 - OUESTION: What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading... More ››
 29 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's c... More ››
 30 - Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later... More ››
 31 - QUESTION: What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman? ANSWER: A battery has a posi... More ››
 32 - Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?... More ››
 33 - Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathro... More ››
 34 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink.... More ››
 35 - Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.... More ››
 36 - How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.... More ››
 37 - Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.... More ››
 38 - QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.... More ››
 39 - What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? - A woman that won't do what she's told.... More ››
 40 - What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.... More ››
 41 - Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.... More ››
 42 - Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man? A: Stupid!... More ››
 43 - I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her.... More ››
 44 - What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.... More ››
 45 - Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women ? Sister: Man-eating sharks.... More ››
 46 - Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!... More ››
 47 - Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.... More ››
 48 - Should I have a baby after 35? No, 35 children is enough.... More ››
 49 - My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" - I said, "Dust!"... More ››
 50 - Why do men die before their wives? - They want to.... More ››
 51 - What do you calll a woman that people sit on ? Cher !... More ››
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