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time JOKES (random)

Why do people beat their clocks?
To kill time.

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 1 - If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it? Twenty after one.... More ››
 2 - A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided... More ››
 3 - Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail? Because time was always running out.... More ››
 4 - When do clocks die? When their time is up.... More ››
 5 - For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked... More ››
 6 - While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the d... More ››
 7 - A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzl... More ››
 8 - The proud owner of an impressive new clock was showing it off to a friend. 'This clock,' he said... More ››
 9 - Julie: What time is it? Counsellor: Three o'clock. Julie: Oh,no! Counsellor: What's the matter?... More ››
 10 - 'I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock,' said the principal... More ››
 11 - One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the t... More ››
 12 - Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time? Custo... More ››
 13 - What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver? Time to get a new watc... More ››
 14 - Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ? Because England was discovered before the U... More ››
 15 - What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.... More ››
 16 - How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? You can hear their brooms tick!... More ››
 17 - That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.... More ››
 18 - What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street? Five after one.... More ››
 19 - If your watch is broken, why can't you go fishing? Because you don't have the time.... More ››
 20 - A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.... More ››
 21 - Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.... More ››
 22 - Why did your sister shoot the alarm clock ? Because she felt like killing time.... More ››
 23 - What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? Time to get a new car.... More ››
 24 - Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time.... More ››
 25 - Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.... More ››
 26 - What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend? Long time no sea.... More ››
 27 - What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed.... More ››
 28 - 1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ? 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !... More ››
 29 - What are your two favourite times to party? Daytime and night-time!... More ››
 30 - When is the best time to go shopping? When the stores are open.... More ››
 31 - Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time.... More ››
 32 - What time is it when you sit on a pin? Spring time.... More ››
 33 - Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !... More ››
 34 - Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time.... More ››
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