1 - A businessman was traveling in the train
seat was reserved in the last couch of the trai... More ››
2 - A man goes out and buys the best
available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is... More ››
3 - A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a
stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.
He rolled down his wind... More ››
4 - One day, two guys were driving
local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the stor... More ››
5 - Ole
and Lena were sitting down to
their usual morning cup of coffee,
listening to the weather... More ››
6 - A young bloke has started work on a
property, and the boss
sends him up the back paddocks to d... More ››
7 - Andy wants a job as a signalman on the
railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal... More ››
8 - A fellow was following a truck in heavy
Every block or so, when
they were stopped at... More ››
9 - A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he
comes to a petrol station, since he's i... More ››
10 - Five Englishmen
in an Audi Quattro
arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customer agent s... More ››
11 - Blake and his parents were
at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The... More ››
12 - A young man comes home and says "Dad,
just got my driver's license and would like to use the fam... More ››
13 - A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in
New York on a dark
night. The passenger taps the driver on... More ››
14 - A
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and
the CB crackles... More ››
15 - A grizzled old man was eating in a truck
stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. The fi... More ››
16 - A tiny
racing car was developed by
American scientists. The Americans then sent
the car over t... More ››
17 - A man is driving down the road for a
long period of time.
his travel, he sees a pries... More ››
18 - An Irish
priest and a Rabbi get into
a car accident. They both get out of their
cars and stumb... More ››
19 - A guy driving a truck in the middle of
nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker.
It gets dark and the hit... More ››
20 - After seeing a
documentary on how
inner city youths can remove
the wheels of cars in under 4 se... More ››
21 - Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pounds, was thrown from
his seat when the Southern Ra... More ››
22 - A driver pulled up beside a rundown
farmhouse. He got out
knocked at the door. A very old... More ››
23 - One day there was a family driving in the
car to Michigan to
visit their relatives. They were lo... More ››
24 - After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the
long lines, surly clerks, and
insane regulations at the... More ››
25 - A sardarji
was working as editor in
a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to
Bombay to del... More ››
26 - A man learned shortly before quitting
that he had to attend a meeting.
He tried unsucce... More ››
27 - A passenger train is creeping along,
slowly. Finally it creaks to a
halt. A passenger sees a con... More ››
28 - The train was about to pull out of the
station. Swinging a
large bag, a young man managed to rea... More ››
29 - A Lutheran
minister is driving down
to New York to see the
radio show and he's stopped in Conn... More ››
30 - Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who
appalled by American driving
habits, offers the follo... More ››
31 - A state trooper pulled a car over and
told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph z... More ››
32 - A driver tucked this note under the
windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've circled the block... More ››
33 - Jill's car was unreliable and she
called John for a ride every time
it broke down.
One day J... More ››
34 - In a very small alley two trucks
driving in opposite directions meet.
As the drivers are equa... More ››
35 - A man was driving up a steep and narrow
A woman was driving down the same road.... More ››
36 - A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he
would... More ››
37 - Auntie Gladys
bought herself a new
rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for
a s... More ››
38 - While driving along the back roads of a
small town, two
truckers came to an overpass with a sign... More ››
39 - Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's
Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down t... More ››
40 - Auntie Maud bought herself a new
rear-engine European car. She took an
old friend for a drive, b... More ››
41 - It had been snowing for
an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students... More ››
42 - As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering,
he heard his... More ››
43 - One day a guy was driving with his
and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She t... More ››
44 - WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It
has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the... More ››
45 - Q: How many auto mechanics does it take
to change a light
A: Six - One to force it with... More ››
46 - "Where's the car?" asked Professor
Delbert's wife when he got home.
"Did I take it out?"... More ››
47 - A San Francisco motorist following a
taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him... More ››
48 - McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big party.
"Hey," said McAfee, "be sure to watch... More ››
49 - Two cab drivers met.
one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab
red... More ››
50 - A man whose son had just passed his
test went home one evening and found that the boy ha... More ››
51 - Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar.
Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking... More ››
52 - A man was in court charged
parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had... More ››
53 - A man was in court charged with
parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had... More ››
54 - A driver, obviously
heading the wrong way down
a one-way street when a policeman pul... More ››
55 - Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to
black... More ››
56 - I saw the most beautiful
cars in the
window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and... More ››
57 - On Fred's 17th
birthday, his Dad
said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson.
As they... More ››
58 - You know all that talk about backseat
Well, I've been driving all my life and can s... More ››
59 - A man
walks into an auto parts store
and says "I'd like a rear view mirror
for my Yugo."
Th... More ››
60 - If an electric train travels 90
miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing fr... More ››
61 - Q: Who has the right of
four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pi... More ››
62 - Two wizards in a car
along and the police were chasing them for speeding.
One sai... More ››
63 - "When you exit the bus, please
sure to lower your head and watch your step."
"If you miss... More ››
64 - A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol station replies: Yo... More ››
65 - A boy sat on a train chewing gum and
staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sit... More ››
66 - Motorist: When I bought this car you
told me it
was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with... More ››
67 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing driving through that
intersection fifty miles an
hou... More ››
68 - My sister's a really bad driver.
What makes you say that?
Every time she goes out in the car,... More ››
69 - I was going 70 miles an hour and got
stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is... More ››
70 - A motorist ran into a shop.
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the
ma... More ››
71 - Policeman: I suppose
to tell me you weren't speeding.
Motorist: I was speeding all... More ››
72 - Q: How many London taxi drivers does it
take to change a
A: What ? Go all the way... More ››
73 - If you watch the way that many motorists
drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most... More ››
74 - Did you hear about
the girl who was
so keen on road safety that she always wore white at
night... More ››
75 - When I get real bored, I
drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my ca... More ››
76 - Teacher: "Who built the first American
Student: "Me Pilgrims."
Teacher: "The Pilgrims?"... More ››
77 - What's the difference between a
schoolteacher and a train driver?
A schoolteacher says, "Spit... More ››
78 - Motorist: Does a deer have a
Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.
Motorist: Then it m... More ››
79 - Policeman: Are you going
Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my bos... More ››
80 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
Ghost: Why don't you take a train.
Monster: I did o... More ››
81 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
Ghost: Why don't you take a train?
Monster: I did once... More ››
82 - What do you get if
you cross a Rolls
Royce with a vampire?
A monster that attacks expensive ca... More ››
83 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing parking your car there?
Motorist: I thought it was go... More ››
84 - What sort of a car has your dad
I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T.
Re... More ››
85 - Policeman: Why did
you stop your
car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?
Motoris... More ››
86 - Q: What changes would occur in your
lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would... More ››
87 - Policeman: I've had my eye on you for
Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you we... More ››
88 - Why was the school
pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?
They were both dri... More ››
89 - What's the difference between a teacher
and a conductor on the railroad?
One trains the mind,... More ››
90 - Policeman: Why were
when I stopped you?
Motorist: So I could race home to get my l... More ››
91 - a quadruple amputee is waiting at the
bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how... More ››
92 - Did you ever see a country boy in New
York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth a... More ››
93 - Q: What is the difference
flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic... More ››
94 - What is the difference between a
locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the ot... More ››
95 - Policeman: How can you say
don't have any outstanding tickets?
Driver: They're all in the g... More ››
96 - Policeman: Why were you
around in circles and laughing?
Motorist: I thought I was on a... More ››
97 - Why did the stupid racing car driver
make ten pit stops
during the Grand Prix?
He was asking f... More ››
98 - Policeman: Why did your car
spin around in circles?
Motorist: I was making a U-turn and ch... More ››
99 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Mo... More ››
100 - Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian
A: What for? He can't see my lice... More ››
101 - Why did your sister refuse the gift of a
Japanese car ?
Because she'd never be able to learn th... More ››
102 - What did the monster say when he saw a
hour train full of passengers?
Oh good! A chew che... More ››
103 - Policeman: Did you realize you just
missed that bus with your car?
Motorist: Did you want me to... More ››
104 - Policeman: Didn't you see my
Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed o... More ››
105 - Policeman: Didn't you see
with the speed limit?
Driver: I thought they were just
su... More ››
106 - Learner driver: What happens when
everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong... More ››
107 - Policeman: Why did you lead me on a
Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slo... More ››
108 - Why do you have to wait so long for a
ghost train to come along?
They only run a skeleton serv... More ››
109 - What did the big carburettor say to the
"Don't inhale so fast or you'll cho... More ››
110 - Did you hear
about the boy who had
to do a project on trains?
He had to keep track of everythi... More ››
111 - Policeman: Why didn't
you stop at
that red light?
Motorist: Then you would have caught up with... More ››
112 - Policeman: Didn't you hear me
whistle at you?
Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I driv... More ››
113 - Q: How can you reduce the possibility of
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.... More ››
114 - Policeman: Why are you
car in circles?
Driver: I was just going for a little spin.... More ››
115 - Policeman:
Why were you
Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of
gas.... More ››
116 - "Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady driver. "There's a tree
coming straight for us!"... More ››
117 - Policeman: Why are you
without a license?
Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.... More ››
118 - Policeman: Do you know
how fast you
Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.... More ››
119 - Q: What did the first stoplight say to
A: Don't look I'm changing!!... More ››
120 - Policeman: Why are you driving on the
Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.... More ››
121 - Policeman: Why
didn't you obey that
Driver: I don't believe everything I read.... More ››
122 - Policeman: Why did you
that stop sign?
Motorist: I was only following orders.... More ››
123 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.... More ››
124 - What is the best thing to take when
you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.... More ››
125 - What do you get if you cross an Egyptian
mummy with a car mechanic?
Toot and Car Man.... More ››
126 - Policeman: How can you drive so
Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.... More ››
127 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.... More ››
128 - What do you call someone who draws funny
motor vehicles ?
A car-toonist !... More ››
129 - Police Officer: Why are you driving in a
Motorist: I'm in a car pool.... More ››
130 - Policeman:
Didn't you see that stop
Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.... More ››
131 - Policeman: Why have you parked your bus
Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."... More ››
132 - Why did the car judder to a stop when it
It had a nervous breakdown.... More ››
133 - Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy
A: Carry loaded weapons.... More ››
134 - What should a teacher take if
The number of the car that hit him.... More ››
135 - Police Officer: Why were you
Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.... More ››
136 - What do you call a pig who's been
arrested for dangerous driving
A road hog !... More ››
137 - Policeman: Why were you
Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.... More ››
138 - What is the meaning of
It's the car most sales representatives drive.... More ››
139 - What kind of car drives over
Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.... More ››
140 - What did the man put on his car when
the weather was cold?
An extra muffler.... More ››
141 - The only thing wrong with a perfect
drive to work is that you
end up at work.... More ››
142 - What happens if an
axe falls on your
You have an ax-i-dent (accident).... More ››
143 - What is evil and ugly and goes at 125
A witch in a high speed train.... More ››
144 - Where do cars get the most
Where there is a fork in the road.... More ››
145 - How do you stop a dog howling in the
back of a car?
Put him in the front.... More ››
146 - Policeman: Didn't you hear my
Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.... More ››
147 - What did one car muffler say to the
"Am I exhausted!"... More ››
148 - What do you call a person who falls onto
you on a train ?
A laplander !... More ››
149 - What would you have if your car's
motor was in flames?
A fire engine.... More ››
150 - Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
Because they run over sleepers.... More ››
151 - Why is an old car like a baby
Because it goes with a rattle.... More ››
152 - What part of a car is the
The wheels. They are always tired.... More ››
153 - Why did the man put his car in the
Because he wanted a hot rod.... More ››
154 - Whats black and white and red all
A nun in a car accident.... More ››
155 - What
happens when a frog's car
It gets toad away..... More ››
156 - What do you get when you put a car and a
pet together ?
Carpet !... More ››
157 - Q: When driving through fog, what
should you use?
A: Your car.... More ››
158 - What do you call a witch who
A road hag.... More ››
159 - How did the woman feel when she got run
over by a
Tired.... More ››
160 - Brother: How do you top a car
Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.... More ››
161 - Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man
A: A LOCOmotive.... More ››
162 - What is a banged-up used
car in first-crash condition.... More ››
163 - My dad is stupid.
He thinks a fjord
is a Norwegian motor car.... More ››
164 - Q: How do you deal with heavy
A: Heavy psychedelics.... More ››
165 - What is an autobiography?
story of an automobile.... More ››
166 - What did the jack say to the
"Can I give you a lift?"... More ››
167 - What kind of ears do trains
Engineers (engine ears).... More ››
168 - Q: What do you call a laughing
A: A Yamahahaha... More ››
169 - What do you say to a
Hop in.... More ››
170 - What song does a car radio play?
cartoon (car, tune).... More ››
171 - Who drives away all of his
A taxicab driver.... More ››
172 - Q) What's worse than raining
A) Hailing taxis!... More ››
173 - What is an autograph?
A chart which
shows car sales.... More ››
174 - What driver doesn't have a
A screw driver.... More ››
175 - What do you call a pretend railway
A play station !... More ››
176 - Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk truck.... More ››
177 - What car do insects drive?
Volkswagen automobile.... More ››
178 - Who drives away all
A taxi driver.... More ››
179 - Which snakes are found on cars?
Windscreen vipers.... More ››
180 - Where do ghost trains stop?
crossings.... More ››
181 - What do you call a group of cars ?
clutch !... More ››