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ETHNIC JOKES!

ethnic JOKES (random)

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.
Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news.
That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY ethnic JOKES:

 1 - An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman po... More ››
 2 - Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves... More ››
 3 - A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he... More ››
 4 - Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I... More ››
 5 - Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China? A: Because there are so m... More ››
 6 - The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the... More ››
 7 - Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael... More ››
 8 - The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives go shopping one day to a big department store.... More ››
 9 - An Irishman, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran... More ››
 10 - There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owne... More ››
 11 - An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled... More ››
 12 - A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his... More ››
 13 - Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the othe... More ››
 14 - There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and t... More ››
 15 - A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them... More ››
 16 - Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core... More ››
 17 - Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to... More ››
 18 - There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to b... More ››
 19 - An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to th... More ››
 20 - There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a... More ››
 21 - Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together o... More ››
 22 - At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that... More ››
 23 - A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon... More ››
 24 - Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 170. One to send the Ne... More ››
 25 - An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage fr... More ››
 26 - Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"... More ››
 27 - An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the... More ››
 28 - There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab a... More ››
 29 - One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do. After God had brief... More ››
 30 - Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One w... More ››
 31 - An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them. He then a... More ››
 32 - Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamen... More ››
 33 - An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together.... More ››
 34 - A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs aro... More ››
 35 - A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pu... More ››
 36 - Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captur... More ››
 37 - There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an ap... More ››
 38 - An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks... More ››
 39 - Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the ro... More ››
 40 - An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when th... More ››
 41 - A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, The French captured an Engl... More ››
 42 - Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Pa... More ››
 43 - There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the c... More ››
 44 - A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a c... More ››
 45 - An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Dep... More ››
 46 - This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him... More ››
 47 - A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face d... More ››
 48 - A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter th... More ››
 49 - An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks... More ››
 50 - These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a na... More ››
 51 - Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down th... More ››
 52 - When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, ther... More ››
 53 - A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Gar... More ››
 54 - A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garde... More ››
 55 - An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucin... More ››
 56 - Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to replace it and one to... More ››
 57 - Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what t... More ››
 58 - The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "Wh... More ››
 59 - Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a... More ››
 60 - These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New York... More ››
 61 - There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada. "You know," said one... More ››
 62 - Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear. The... More ››
 63 - Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote u... More ››
 64 - "Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Bri... More ››
 65 - A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to kno... More ››
 66 - A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about... More ››
 67 - A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a gla... More ››
 68 - A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about t... More ››
 69 - Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happene... More ››
 70 - These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pock... More ››
 71 - A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. ''Excuse me, but if you... More ››
 72 - A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport... More ››
 73 - Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dunno exactly, but m... More ››
 74 - An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instruc... More ››
 75 - Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away... More ››
 76 - Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick!... More ››
 77 - A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?"... More ››
 78 - Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but you have to pry him... More ››
 79 - A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What... More ››
 80 - Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?"... More ››
 81 - O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell h... More ››
 82 - An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the lo... More ››
 83 - A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says... More ››
 84 - Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? I... More ››
 85 - What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says,... More ››
 86 - Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: Nobody knows. Russian leader... More ››
 87 - Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown into his eye. His com... More ››
 88 - Four Mexicans were in an open truck that had run into the lake.The two in the front seat escape... More ››
 89 - Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel.... More ››
 90 - Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the ligh... More ››
 91 - Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here!... More ››
 92 - Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana pla... More ››
 93 - The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled. "Why so glum, Chum?" asked the kindly stranger.... More ››
 94 - Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children? A: They'd read in the newspaper th... More ››
 95 - Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at you... More ››
 96 - Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs,... More ››
 97 - What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns Germ... More ››
 98 - Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the childr... More ››
 99 - Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live? When the patient co... More ››
 100 - Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two... More ››
 101 - Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise y... More ››
 102 - Q: Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey? A: Because everytime they go int... More ››
 103 - Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressi... More ››
 104 - Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No mat... More ››
 105 - One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house.... More ››
 106 - How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? They all gather around their cash registers and sing... More ››
 107 - "Helga, tell me something. Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?" "Becau... More ››
 108 - Q: What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by .swallowing 100 pain killers? A:... More ››
 109 - Q: How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs... More ››
 110 - Q: How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child? A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remai... More ››
 111 - Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian t... More ››
 112 - Q: How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out... More ››
 113 - Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One hundred - One to screw it in an... More ››
 114 - Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping... More ››
 115 - Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 10,000 - to give the... More ››
 116 - Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands, because Confucious say... More ››
 117 - Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and one to... More ››
 118 - A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied, ''I think i... More ››
 119 - Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bu... More ››
 120 - Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? Q: How many Canadians does it take... More ››
 121 - Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? A: They marched in backwards and the Polish though... More ››
 122 - What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl? What's an ice girl like you doing... More ››
 123 - Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza S... More ››
 124 - They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because it has seven verb tenses: six past, one pres... More ››
 125 - Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian? He made himself an offer he co... More ››
 126 - Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves resid... More ››
 127 - Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but don't... More ››
 128 - Q: What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman? A: "Come behind the pyramid, and I'll ma... More ››
 129 - Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? -The Aggie drove throu... More ››
 130 - Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery? 3 dollars a year for a milli... More ››
 131 - Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the... More ››
 132 - Why don't mexicans have checking accounts? It's too hard to spray paint your name on the litt... More ››
 133 - Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling... More ››
 134 - Q: Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan? A: They are putting in TAR... More ››
 135 - Q: How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in... More ››
 136 - Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll tell everybo... More ››
 137 - Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cable... More ››
 138 - Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive... More ››
 139 - What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow... More ››
 140 - Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.... More ››
 141 - Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old Polish Navy!... More ››
 142 - Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo? They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.... More ››
 143 - How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ? With a Crowbar!!!!!... More ››
 144 - How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? They had reservations.... More ››
 145 - If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?... More ››
 146 - Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles.... More ››
 147 - Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He's the one with a duck.... More ››
 148 - Two Scots, father and son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim.... More ››
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 150 - Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? A: He varnished into thin air!... More ››
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 152 - Do you know why Eskimos always do their laundry in tide? Because it's too cold out-tide!... More ››
 153 - How many Serbs does in take to change a Lighbulb? It doesn't matter..Theres a Blackout!... More ››
 154 - Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? A: Somebody dropped a shekel.... More ››
 155 - Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? A: That's a military secret.... More ››
 156 - Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama.... More ››
 157 - Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa? They couldn't find three wise men!!!... More ››
 158 - Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!... More ››
 159 - Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking? A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?... More ››
 160 - Q: How can you identify an Irish pirate? A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.... More ››
 161 - Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.... More ››
 162 - Q: Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman? A: He drove her buggy.... More ››
 163 - Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his teapea.... More ››
 164 - Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.... More ››
 165 - Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains? A: So they know where to stop shaving.... More ››
 166 - Why don't mexicans have barbeques? the beans keep slipping through the grill.... More ››
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 168 - What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout.... More ››
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 172 - Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book.... More ››
 173 - Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road? A: He saw some American do it on TV.... More ››
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 177 - Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering.... More ››
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 185 - The only good thing to ever come out of Oklahoma: An empty greyhound.... More ››
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 188 - Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel.... More ››
 189 - Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? A: Third grade.... More ››
 190 - What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!... More ››
 191 - What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock? Ricky Retardo... More ››
 192 - How do we know that Joan of Arc was French ? She was maid in France !... More ››
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 194 - Q: What's the highest position in the Greek Navy? A: Rear Admiral!... More ››
 195 - Q: Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? A: To meet chicks.... More ››
 196 - How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder.... More ››
 197 - What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ? John.... More ››
 198 - Q: How do you get a German out of the bath? A: Turn on the water.... More ››
 199 - Q:What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game? A:Call B52... More ››
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 201 - What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o... More ››
 202 - Q: What county in Ireland hates "South Park?" A: Killkenny.... More ››
 203 - What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama bin Latte... More ››
 204 - Q: How do you sink an Irish submarine? A: Knock on the hatch.... More ››
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 209 - What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !... More ››
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 211 - Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes? A: In France.... More ››
 212 - How do you stop a taliban tank ? Shoot the Guy Pushing it... More ››
 213 - What do West Virginians call a pretty woman? A tourist.... More ››
 214 - Q: How do you sink a Polish ship? A: Put it in water.... More ››
 215 - What is the Cuban national anthem? ''Row Your Boat!''... More ››
 216 - Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."... More ››
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