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OLD AGE JOKES!

old age JOKES (random)

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow.
"How old was your husband?" he asked.
"He was ninety-eight," she answered softly.
"Two years oder than I am." "Really?" the undertaker said.
"Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?"

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THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY old age JOKES:

 1 - A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the hou... More ››
 2 - One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure s... More ››
 3 - An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their... More ››
 4 - An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it... More ››
 5 - When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When... More ››
 6 - A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent t... More ››
 7 - A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the... More ››
 8 - An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to th... More ››
 9 - There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family de... More ››
 10 - One day, an out-of-work man knocks on the door of a home in an upper-class neighborhood. The lad... More ››
 11 - An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of... More ››
 12 - Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As... More ››
 13 - An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would... More ››
 14 - Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and ex... More ››
 15 - A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had... More ››
 16 - An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've nev... More ››
 17 - An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled ove... More ››
 18 - Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell sh... More ››
 19 - Two 80 year old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the... More ››
 20 - Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got re... More ››
 21 - Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "... More ››
 22 - A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he... More ››
 23 - Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself... More ››
 24 - Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds o... More ››
 25 - An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask he... More ››
 26 - Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They g... More ››
 27 - Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the... More ››
 28 - An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good... More ››
 29 - I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prost... More ››
 30 - Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment,... More ››
 31 - Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartmen... More ››
 32 - A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was over... More ››
 33 - One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is... More ››
 34 - One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another wom... More ››
 35 - A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. "My arm is so weak I... More ››
 36 - For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to atten... More ››
 37 - A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noti... More ››
 38 - A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened... More ››
 39 - A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to... More ››
 40 - An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She to... More ››
 41 - The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique w... More ››
 42 - Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How o... More ››
 43 - Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that th... More ››
 44 - Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy today. When I was your age I got up at six o'clock eve... More ››
 45 - The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly... More ››
 46 - Two elderly women were staring at the numbers of the floors listed above the elevator door. Whe... More ››
 47 - "What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who w... More ››
 48 - Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two nights. Harry: Why's that? Fred: Granny broke he... More ››
 49 - An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village, and asked one of the locals the a... More ››
 50 - A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about... More ››
 51 - A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says, "Have you got anyt... More ››
 52 - A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the arm... More ››
 53 - You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She'... More ››
 54 - Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and... More ››
 55 - How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth... More ››
 56 - "Grandma, why don't you drink tea anymore?" "I don't like it ever since that tea bag got stuck... More ››
 57 - What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits yo... More ››
 58 - Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house? Because his gait is broken, and his locks ar... More ››
 59 - How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on... More ››
 60 - Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?" "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."... More ››
 61 - Q: Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair? A: She wanted to rock and roll... More ››
 62 - How do you get four old ladies to say the F word? Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!... More ››
 63 - What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen.... More ››
 64 - Are you getting older and wiser? No, he's getting older and wider!... More ››
 65 - How old is your Grandma? I dunno, but we've had him a long time.... More ››
 66 - My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.... More ››
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